We went to see The Mummy Returns tonight. I can't help it, I'm a sucker for Brendan Frasier, who I think is a really good actor who somehow got sidetracked into schlocky action roles. I took Beau and Noemi, and Scott met us there. Of course Scott thought Rachel Weisz was hot, (well so did I) and I like Brendan Frasier and the Magi guy. Come to think of it, I thought the casting was pretty good except for one thing, I would have switched the actor who played Nefertiti's brother, the Mummy-King-Guy, (I forgot his name) with The Rock who played The Scorpion King, that is of course providing he can act, and I'm guessing he can. I've been wondering When Rachel Weisz would get another break, isn't she the actress who played Ralph Fiennes Maid in Schindler's List?
The funniest thing that happened during the movie though, was when Beau turned to me and asked what an apocalypse is. I explained that it would be the end of the world, the end of life, the most horrible thing you could imagine. He waited and beat and said, "Mom, the most horrible thing I can imagine would be if Barney kissed me." God, I don't know, I just thought that was so funny, I burst out laughing. Beaus birthday is this Friday so I'm going to pick up his cake tomorrow. He wants me to get mini finger skateboard as gifts for the kids in his class. I guess I'll decorate the cake with skateboard stuff then. I fell badly because there's been so much going on, I haven't even had a chance to shop for him. I did buy a little clarinet charm in Ventura though.
Art Bell has a new kitty, a little orange guy that he's named Yeti. I love that he loves cats and took on a new one. Good for him. Yeti, the cat was missing for a bit and turned out to be hiding in the sofa. That's where my most frightened pals go, well either there or in the fireplace. That's where Shadow likes to hide. Oh God, here he goes talking about the God part of the brain again. I hate it when he does this.
Puppy went to the vet today and had her bath, and Mini Harina had her kittens. After this we have one more kitty who is pregnant, Spooky. Then I'll get everyone fixed once and for all. I am ashamed of my incongruous behavior. I know that it doesn't make sense that someone who loves cats so much, and who is an animal rights activist, is so conflicted about getting everyone fixed right away, that it contributes to the cat overpopulation problem. I also know that if I have room in my home for three more cats, I should go to the shelter and save three lives. I have saved so many shelter cats and dogs, more than most people I know, and I do get everyone fixed eventually, it's just that I have so many cats, and it costs so much to go to the best vet, because I know all of the things that can go wrong and I'm so afraid that they might die from the anesthesia. I've heard way too many heartbreaking stories. I could get vouchers but I just can;t take any of my animal friends to the kinds of vets around here who accept them. I'm not going to take them to Venice Birth Control anymore after what happened to a Dalmation we rescued at Christmas a couple of years ago.
I'm clear on one thing though, no matter what I do, I am not responsible for the decisions those fuckers at the shelters, who are killing animals make. I used to work as a volunteer for a few years at once of the largest shelters in Los Angeles so I know what I'm talking about. These people are hardened and vindictive, sometimes it seems as if they work against getting the animals adopted. They seem to revel in their puny bureaucratic powers and their control over the life or death of these innocent animals. I don't support them. I never voted for them. I don't agree with their policies, and I hate them so much I want to kill them! I want to spit at them and scratch at their faces. The rage I feel for these ignorant, horrible, money-management-through-murder people is enormous.
I'm sure they feel at peace with their justifications, but I know they are immoral and corrupt, rotten inside, no matter how they frame their activities. Yes, some of the animals get adopted, and thank God for that, but I'd rather take my chances on the streets, than be captured and put in a cage, waiting for my turn to either be taken away by some strangers who could be horrible for all we know, or be taken to some back room to die. You don;t know how many animals never even get to wait in a cage and get taken straight back to be euthanized. At the Bundy shelter, when the cages were full, if some irresponsible, lazy jerk of a person brought their own pet in hoping to get it adopted, they wouldn't even bother to tell the person that they were going to take it straight back to be killed. They see their job as reuniting owners with lost pets and anyone else will be kept or killed only as space permits. That's what I mean when I say it's all about the management of money. When I think about this, the idea of someone taking a healthy, trusting animal and killing it with a shot, I just want to scream. So until we create no-kill shelters, I will continue to hate the people who run them. Killing healthy animals, to make room for more animals to wait their turn to die is evil. I hate them almost as much as vivisectors and animal researchers, but of course I reserve my deepest, most venomous hatred for them.
I wish I hadn't gone down this track. It gets me so upset and all I wanted to tell you about were the new kittens. To recap; Scaredy-Cat had two, a little curly black one, and the fluffy black one. Mini Harina had three, one grey, and one black, and a little white one who died. He was so beautiful, all white, and so perfect and delicate, tiny little hands and feet, so sweet. I don't know what went wrong. I tried everything, I rubbed him to stimulate him, I gently swung him upside down to get any fluid out of his lungs that might be there, and I kept trying to breathe into his tiny mouth for him, and massaging his chest, but he just didn't make it. I kissed his tiny little head and felt his little ears and his tiny little feet. I only knew him for about an hour but already I miss him. I think I knew him.
It made me think about the value in coming here just for the experience of living within a mother's womb and being born. I think that even though it was a short journey, for his little soul, it must have been worth it. Perhaps he felt love and warmth and was happy as a kitten inside his mother, maybe that experience was joyous enough to make it worth coming. I hope so. I'm so sorry he died. I held him so long. It was really hard to let him go.
Perhaps for the baby I lost, it was the same kind of thing, maybe his or her soul just needed to come in and be close to me for a tiny time, but will be back again. It makes sense to me in a way.
On a happier note, does anyone out there practice Tantric Sexuality, and if so will you come by and share some of your experience with it, with us? I've been interested in studying/doing this for so long. I wonder what it's like practically. I'm thinking it's about the movement of energy through the chakras, and a kind of joyous bubbling orgasmic experience that you have when you do that? I think it's about loving positions, and long sessions of devotional, tender, partner adoration. Seeing the divine in your partner, being selfless, something like that. The part of it that seems intimidating is the idea of studying this with someone else. I'm sure instructors who would teach Tantra would be very loving, generous people to begin with, but I think I'd be uncomfortable getting into sexual positions in front of a coach, you know? Jacqui could you wrap your legs around Scott right about here? On the other hand it beats the whole, let's go to a swing party and invite other couples into our relationship, because we're bored with shallow-vanilla fucking like Pam and Tommy-Lee. Okay seriously, if we looked like that, maybe we wouldn't be too bored. I wouldn't mind driving around Lake Havasu in a powerboat and saying, "Oooh baby you're so hot," and "it's all good" over and over, as long as we had those bodies, and maybe that video camera.