Jacqui (jacqui) wrote,
Jacqui
jacqui


Oh God, I had some weird dreams last night. Lots and lots of them so I must have been very behind in REM sleep and needed to catch up. Oh yeah that's right, I was running a sleep deficit. Anyway two of the dreams that stood out; Ana is my Mother and I am going to meet with her as my Mother for the first time. It was so intensely emotional. It had all of the pain, sturm und drang of my real life conflict with my birth monster, but Ana? How weird is that. In the second dream I am at some hotel with Robby, and am having sex with him. I keep trying to get him alone so I can fuck him. I'm on top and he's saying things and I'm thinking, "Huh these are things you never said with me, you must have learned this from her." I kept trying to seduce him, at one point I was playing with this interactive talking computer screen and it had this super sophisticated message board chatroom set up. It was more like a MUD or a MOO (wait is there such a thing as a Moo or would it be Mu, God who knows.) You could go into these little boxes and people had very realistic avatars and spoke in their own voices in real time. I was kind of checking out various sexual online encounters between people, mostly to turn on my ex (yuck, bastard), and when I turned around I realized it had worked so I jumped him. The part that upset me was that I woke up coming, and it was with him, yuck. I felt like I was cheating on my partner in my dreams because I came in real life.

Of course faithful little love servant that I am, I duly reported this to my partner who was wonderful as always about it. I love him so much, he pisses me off sometimes because he can be so selfish, sorry had to say that, but then he also can be this extraordinary light being and I just adore him. Hey who doesn't have their flaws? I'm glad ana and Jason are working things out because I think the deeper more spiritual work, the kind that enriches your soul, goes on when you push through the crap and keep going. Anyway, I've had dreams where I woke up having an orgasm in real life before, which still amazes me because in real life I can't come unless I have more clitoral action, if you know what I mean, so this just tells me that it's possible to orgasm without a lot of clit-contact (I'm just dying thinking about my eighty year old friends reading this, yeee) oh well gotta be myself. This is the only place where I've ever truly been able to do that.

Okay so here comes the debate part of this. Is it proper (Heh proper) for a woman to say she is coming when referring to orgasm. I know guys cum, well some women do too, but I always say come as in I am coming here. How do you guys express this, or actually how do you gals express this? Hee.



Read a nice article about Angelina Jolie, I like her so much. I still feel so happy I met her at the airport and we chatted for a while before we left for Tahiti. She was so open, intense and lovely. I was so attracted to her. That beautiful face, sigh.

I've got therapy and then shopping for fabric. I'm still reeling from $180.00 a yard.

Love you,
Jacqui
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