Jacqui (jacqui) wrote,

My evil, horrible, bitch from hell of a neighbor actually called me today and suggested I kill my dog, because her barking is disturbing her. It went something like this;
Ring Ring
Me: Hello?
The Bitch From Hell: (sickly sweet voice) What are we going to do about the little doggy?
Me: Martha I'm really sorry, we put her inside when the gardener was here so she wouldn't bother you. We make sure she's in before dark. We've even bought a one hundred and fifty dollar orange spray collar. Clearly I am concerned about your feelings and trying my best to resolve this but it takes time.
BFH: Have you tried looking for another home for her?
Me: Yes I ahve considered that, it isn't easy finding a home for a dog with this much energy and people are afraid of pit bulls.
BFH: (even more sugar) Well, then isn't it about time that we considered putting her down?
Me: (in total shock) I can't believe you just said that to me! (slams phone down on evil neighbor)

Of course I spent the rest of the day musing on what swift retort I could have delivered rather than the kind of shocked stammering minimal thing I managed to sputter out. Then I tried to focus on what the Dalai Lama said about peace beginnning at home and being forgiving of your neighbors for the sake of your own serentity. At least I hung up on her ass. Bitch! Dalai Lama, bitch, hmmm.

I want an Angelina Jolie/Lara Croft action figure.


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