I'm feeling angry, grumpy and sore. The reason I'm feeling this way is because on top of all the other pain-in-the-ass, pain I have to feel, as a soul inside a body on this heavy plane of existence, my cats just jumped on me while I was trying to pee and clawed me up. First Little Guy decided to jump up and hang on to my neck, pulling himself up with the claws of his back feet, then Summer wanted to be up on me too, so she made a mad jump from the floor to my right shoulder and scratched me with her claws, then Little Guy's brother decided that he wanted to perch on my knee but couldn't balance well so he fell off but clung on at the same time with, unhunh, his claws. Well my reaction then scared Summer, who fell off scratching as she went, and then Little Guy, who kept trying to wriggle around and grab at my skin for a clawhold.
I count a minimum of twenty-eight skin breaking scratch marks and welts and those are only the ones I can see. So I'm pouting in my office and holding a grudge against the cats. Oh look I found some more on the back of my arm here, grrrrrrr. I think they just don't get it, that skin and claws do not go well together!
I'm grumpy because even though I'm starting to warm up to this Mike Seagal guy on Coast to Coast, I'm burnt out on this God Part of the Brain guy he has on tonight. I think he's an evil little curmudgeon of a guy who wants to spoil the party for the rest of us. Plus Art's had him on enough. Last night they really got into how bad milk is for us and went on and on about pus and congested organs. I got all stirred up and gave up dairy, but now that I have a stomach ache from all the weird stuff I ate today, and wound up drinking half a bottle of Pepto Bismol. I'm mad at that guy too, the Notmilkman, because now I can't stop thinking about casein and beer labels and glue. Well, not really, but I'm mad enough to not want to put up his website right now, even though I totally agree with him about how unhealthy milk is. I'm showing the God-Part-Of-the-Brain eejit how much I hate his puffy little arrogant self by turning off the show, ha ha.
I'm sore because I just am, damnit! Everything hurts and I hate it. My teeth hurt, my eyes are dry, my muscles ache, my skin aches, my feet even hurt. Everything hurts and I wanna cry about it or go pull someone's hair. Okay that's all, sorry for interrupting. I'll go back to my little eBay payment box now. I swear if I don't get out of this house soon I'll go mad.
Love from your crabby little friend Jacqui
I'm going to go make my bad little puppet dance ; )