Jacqui (jacqui) wrote,

Hi Everyone,

I'm taking stock of my blessings. I'm just so lucky and sometimes, especially now when so many people are suffering, I'm afraid to be happy, afraid to feel lucky and grateful. But like so many people I've been totally immobilized with depression and fear and it just occurred to me, today that for this moment, I should be grateful and let myself live. I'm not forgetting the suffering, or the horror, I couldn't do that if I wanted, I'm just not built that way. I'm just going to try to live in my natural God given state, which I believe is happiness.

I mean with all the doomsayers and prognosticators, foretelling imminent death by smallpox, or lethal gas poisoning, or nuclear destruction, I get the feeling that if I'm ever going to celebrate the life I have, it had better be soon. So for this moment, I am going to be happy. I'm not saying this won't change as soon as I flip on the television, but I just wanted to try to hang on to this feeling for as long as I could

I have roses in my garden and a beautiful fountain in my patio, whose water music I can hear from almost every room in my house. My son is alive and well. I still have my Mother. I have enough money to buy food this week. There is still food to buy, and I am not as sick as I was last week. I have the use of my limbs, I can walk, I am sighted, and I can hear. I may not be as thin and beautiful as I want to be, I may not have the career I want, I may have some handicaps and have suffered some hardships and setbacks that still haunt me, but I'm alive, and life is precious, and beautiful, and I am so unbelievably grateful.

Love you guyz,

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