Jacqui (jacqui) wrote,

Baby died. She was my oldest cat. I think she must have been eighteen. She arrested Monday in the early morning. I had been hoping there was some way we could turn her illness around and save her. I wish vets could be braver in dealing with us, I wish they would just tell us when we should put someone to sleep, rather than letting us prolong things, giving us false hope and running up thousands of dollars in tests and care. I think my vet was hinting that baby wasn't going to make it, but I just couldn;t let go of hoping. I didn't even get to say goodbye.

She was such a great cat, so beautiful, soft, smart and wise. Her Mother was Queenie, a mixed Siamese cat that a trucker had found out in the middle of nowhere, walking along a deserted highway in the desert, pregnant, starved, and dying of thirst. He poured her some tea from his thermos and brought her back to his girlfriend who lived in Venice. They found homes for all of her kittens, and then they were going to drop her off at an animal shelter (stupid people). I took her so that wouldn't happen. She was a wonderful cat. So smart and loving. We didn't get her fixed in time and before we knew it she had sex with my neighbor Libby's cat Sid Vicious (a beautiful black persian) and several other neighborhood cats and suddenly we had thirteen kittens to find homes for. We kept the runt of the litter Peewee, who died a few years ago and Baby, because she was the prettiest, Queenie's favorite, and I just couldn't give her away. So I've had her with me for years now, through everything, before during and after my marriage. She lived with us in five different places. I can't believe she's gone. I loved her so much.

I'm so sick of writing about my animals dying. I'm so sick of hurting. Noemi and I were thinking maybe it's that death comes in threes thing. First Gelato died on Halloween, then the teenager kitten, fluffy Mini Chippy, and now my beautiful Baby Cat. Still Baby even though she was the oldest.

Life can be so painful and so beautiful all at the same time. I know this was meant to be, that she is free of an old hurting body. I just hope she can come see me and be with me and that I will see her again.

I'm actually feeling pretty numb right now.

At least I have these wonderful kittens to cheer me up.

This is Mini Leon and one of the kittens, we call them all Ten, because that's what Scott calls them.

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