Jacqui (jacqui) wrote,
Jacqui
jacqui

Relocating My Wild Outdoor Ratties Without Harming Them and the Little Moth Who Landed on my Veggie Burger

Oh yeay, I found two companies who will trap and release the rats without harming them. Of course I don't trust anyone, I'm afraid they'll just say, "Oh yeah we'll just take this little rattie to a nice place and let him go fer ya," and then clobber him when they leave. I only called the ads that say live trapping or ecological solutions.

Apparently there are a lot of softies like me who don't want to have the poor little furry guys killed. I have to move them though because the dogs are going after them and Noemi is terrified. A rat bit her on her face when she was a little girl, back home in Belize, and she is terrified of them. So the fact that every time she takes out the trash or goes anywhere outside at night, she sees one leaping away, is enough to have her freaking out, pretty much. Anyway this one company I spoke with assured me, (I made the little Irish lady who answered the phone say "I swear to God he won't kill them" ) that they do this kind of thing all the time.

I'm so frigging empathic that last night when a little tiny moth landed on my veggie burger at Norms and got his wing stuck in the ketchup, I spent the rest of the night trying to save him and help him fly again, argh. First I had to get him unstuck from the bun without hurting him. Then his wing was sticky with sauce so I had to figure out how to wash it off without drowning him, or washing the powder I hear they have, off. Then I had to transfer him to a clean napkin and blow on him forever to try to dry the wing. But of course it dried in this freaky way and all he could do was just flap around in a circle. I took him with me to the car when we left and left him in there because I thought at least it would be warm and no ants would come and carry him away while he was still alive, but I'm afraid he didn't make it. It's hell being this sensitive.

My friend Susan thinks this kind of sensitivity comes from suffering or being in acute pain as a child so you develop and understanding of the suffering of others. I don't know, I think it's a gift that goes hand in hand with creativity and artistic expression. I think being able to feel deeply and then express that feeling in some creative way is at the heart of the very best art. The problem for me is being able to live in what can sometimes be a very cruel world and stay functional in order to be able to channel all of this feeling into something positive. For me that's acting or creating visual imagery or poetry.

Okay well off to the eBay grind. I'm so grateful it's there. I even had a dream about it last night.
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