July 5th, 2000

Chalkboard

(no subject)

Hi Everybody,

I am making myself sit here and continue to try to pay off all of my eBay debts. I'm not buying just incredibly confused about what I owe and to whom, I was buying like crazy for a while there and really buried myself so that's what I'm trying to catch up on.

I went to Stephanie's wish list to see what she was hoping for, and then had to sit on my hands so I wouldn't buy something. I have so many Amazon things I'd like to buy for myself as well.

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Hi Everybody,

I am making myself sit here and continue to try to pay off all of my eBay debts. I'm not buying just incredibly confused about what I owe and to whom, I was buying like crazy for a while there and really buried myself so that's what I'm trying to catch up on.

I went to Stephanie's wish list to see what she was hoping for, and then had to sit on my hands so I wouldn't buy something. I have so many Amazon things I'd like to buy for myself as well.

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Today Oprah had a show about single mothers surviving divorce on. I wanted to buy the book the woman who was on had written but wound up putting it on my wish list instead. Oooh my computer is acting weird, this one window is still open on top of this and I'm typing around it, hmmm, doesn't seem right.

I still use AOL, I know that seems incredibly lame but I am so used to it, but I don't like the chatrooms, the people there are such stupid morons (dept. of redundancy dept.) and they drive me mad. You can't download any of the photos, unless they have been specifically uploaded for that and there's the hellish timer function which I bought the anti timer for, but the anti timer kind of messes with my system, oh well, no big deal, I'll figure this all out one of these days.

One of my problems is my management of time and of course another is how I react to things and how I manage stress. If Scientologists weren't such a spooky bunch of mind fuckers I'd join just to learn how to blow off certain stressful events with the e-meter/lie detector machine they use. I just can't get into the L. Ron Hubbard, thetans on our skin who need to be audited once you go clear aspect of the whole thing. Plus there's the gulag for intransigent rebels.

The biggest drag for me is knowing where I want to be in terms of consciousness, enlightenment, personal development, career success, relationship and parenting success, and knowing how much I have to do to get there. The gradient is just so steep.
I mean there seems to be a fix or a solution for everything, sleep more regularly, drink more water, eat healthier, exercise, meditate, go to therapy, commune with nature, get enough sunlight for your hypothalamus and vitamin B needs but not too much to get skin cancer, keep training as an actor, market myself well and all the many things that entails, keep acting no matter what, work hard, be determined, never give up your dreams, be tenacious, be brave, be loyal, read good books, create art, be creative, make time for play, and most importantly be a good parent, partner/lover, daughter and friend. How do people find the time to do all of that?

Yesterday I took the gang to go see The Patriot. Okay so it was commercial and had some predictable moments. I really liked Beau getting to see how our country was founded and how horrible and brutal war can be. He got a nice history lesson on the fourth, perfect timing, which was the plan. I liked Mel Gibson. Scott and I are having a disagreement about his acting, he thinks I'm fooled by his good looks. Please, I don't even really like the man, he scares me a bit. After the movie we came home, had dinner and then hurried out to The Palisades for fireworks at the high school. Beau was afraid, still, but we worked it out. Scotty was tired, but maybe after he sees his sleep doctor he will be better.

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I love fireworks, explosions, pyrotechnics. Selene and Coco were telling us about how they have fireworks in Puerta Vallarta (Is it Puerto or Puerta)? They have different figures, kinda like my pal, the Burning Man, that they blow up with firecrackers and there is a bull that shoots off fireworks that they pull through the streets and a beautiful crown of Mary that swirls up into the sky. I've seen images of French fireworks and English as well, with Catherine Wheels and beautiful things that are hung by strings and we don't ever see anything like that here. I'm also not a King, but I wonder why no one wants to create beautiful things like that anymore. The fireworks I see, although I am extremely grateful for them, are very one note, boom boom boom, when's the big finish? But the kids liked them, even though they were more excited about their little light up sticks and tubes than anything. Of course afterwards we were stuck in nasty traffic and behind an English double decker bus, (figure that one out on the Fourth of July), that was chugging out foul black exhaust fumes.

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Kids took bubble baths in my tub today, and Beau's pretty Betta died. He wasn't taking a bubble bath, just the kids were. He was so beautiful, he had a fungus but was too far gone for us to cure him : ( I'm sad about that.

On a sweeter note, the caterpillar Beau found in the yard, and put in a little bug cage, and fed grass until he made a cocoon, hatched out of it last night. He was a little moth guy. So pretty, her wings were iridescent, brown and glowing silver, so cool. We let him go right away. That's always a wonderful miracle to get to be a part of.

Oh my God, I've lost about two thirds of my bookmarked pages, what the hell? Okay I'm going to remain calm and figure this out, aaaaaaaaaaaaccccccccccccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chalkboard

Can anyone help me customize my journal? Please : )

Hi Dan,

Can I ask you for help with something? I can't figure out how exactly to configure my journal so it will look the way I want it to. I've been trying to figure this out on my own like a good little cyberlearningbot but I've only been able to sort of screw things up and now my colors on the page where you modify them are all messed up. I need someone kind to tell me how to put what I like where.

Do you know what the original default colors are that should be in those little boxes, the ones for the grey and black journal?

I really like this background with the spirals, on the comments page, it's my favorite so far, but I don't want all of the info on the left. If I could use the lined background with a black and white color scheme that would tide me over until I can catch up to speed, I've been reading my little html book and trying to learn so I wont be a pain.

Isn't there a way to select this background and if so do you know what the code would look like and where it should go? Also I am confused about where in the color section I can define the colors of the blocks or bars that are defaulted to grey.

I also like plain black backgrounds but I don't like the simple style that I've been using, I guess it's well, too simple. I tried going to that color area and playing around with the colors but oh my, did I come up with some scary combinations, kinda like a Mexican pizza or something, argh. What do you thinketh?

I wish there was a place where we could tweak things, but it was just a little bit simpler for the dweebs (that would be me) to understand. I want to change the colors but don't know what some of the categories refer to. I need something really basic to learn with like, see that little comment thing there, well, there are two phrases, the one on the right's color is...and the one on the left is...now the bar on the left, that color is...and the one on the top, it's...and here are some backgrounds you can customize with and strong emphasis means this and light emphasis means that etc..

I think I'll go put this in my journal because maybe someone else will see this and take pity on me. Although now that my beloved Brad has made my week by adding me to his friends list, yippee, I'll be embarrassed (do other people think of bare ass whenever they type that word, well I do) asking such baby questions. Oh well he knows I'm a cyberlamer.

Okay well I guess that's it. Gotta pee.

Big huge hugs,
wacqui