January 13th, 2001


ADHD and Ritalin?

If anyone out there has experience with attention deficit hyperactivity disorderand it's treatment will you share your experience with me. Will you guys tell me everything you know about Ritalin and ADHD?

Just back from Mexico, so many calls and e-mail to return.

Love you guys,

(no subject)

I love my rats. If you don't have pet rats you are totally missing out.

My bunny is pulling her hair out. I think she is trying to make a nest. I'm going to move Mr. Bunny away from her and give her a nest box with some nice shavings and things that will be warm and soft. I'm a little worried about her, her last bunny babies didn't make it and the weather is rotten right now. We don't really have anywhere to bring her in the house. The cats are pretty much everywhere now.

I adopted some more kitties from my friend G. who is having a hard time right now. The last time I saw her she was pretty alcoholic, now she's a heroin addict as well. She's my age but is still living at home with her parents. It seems like more people are. My heart goes out to her. I wish I could help in some way. I think I'll just hold a positive vision of her finding healing and balance. Her parents are trying to find a good rehab program for her.

G. looks a lot like ana. (I owe anawee a phone call. I'm actually looking forward to it but first I was out of town and then I had to deal with some personal issues. Too personal to discuss with my Live Journal comrades? Naaah, but too personal to write about in front of a possibly snooping ex-spouse.) It surprised me the first time I saw her how similar they are in some ways. G. is petite and used to have the same exact short blonde hairstyle. She's also very styley and likes alternative things. I really hope she finds her center and creates a wonderful supportive life for herself. I really love her.

We adopted Buki, for Charles Bukowski. He was her stud cat. I always felt so sorry for him. He lived in this little box-cage thing, although he had a run, but he was so stinky from spraying and was always pacing back and forth. Now he has a home and a cozy bed and seems so happy. He adjusted immediately. I adore him. He's my white Cornish Rex cat Niki's father, Ala Nazimova's grandfather, Spooky 1 and 2's and Kit Kat's great grandfather, all of the Mini's, and Beau's favorite cat, Chippy's great great grandfather. (Anyone wanna try to help me punctuate that last sentence?) See, so he really has belonged with us all along. I thought Tick's brother Houdini would end up with us as well, but he was adopted by a carefree single man, and is probably riding around in the passenger seat of a 1956 Cadillac convertible, with the top down and the wind in his fur.

My boyfriend is still sick. He's been sick forever. This latest flu has hit people really hard here, but not for as long as it's hit him. I think if you do things to depress your immune system, it takes much longer to get well. Plus he has this nasty catch twenty-two sort of thing going on with sleep. I can go without sex for longer than he can but it's been a month and a half and we're about to set a record of some kind here.

My friend G's mother drinks and she's had this flu for three weeks. everyone else I've talked to got over it much more quickly. I keep attributing my not having caught it to this oxygen water and the various herbs, vitamins, and nutrients I've been taking. I've been researching what I need to take for my various ailments and it's getting pretty hard to swallow this many pills. It's hard to remember to take all of them. I get sick of it. Plus it makes me feel kind of like an old person trying to hang onto her youth. I know I should reframe that somehow, replace it with a positive affirmation or something, but screw it.

Oh thank God, here are my Advil. Phew.

I forgot to mention that I'm still not drinking Coke, my lifelong addiction. As soon as I was able to get off of it for a month my desire for it went away and now when I take a sip of it, it tastes kind of harsh and not as good to me so I don't want it. I feel triumphant somehow about this, as if I beat the grey men who add the secret addictive components to the mix, hee hee.

Great, I was hunting around to find some photos for your visual entertainment and came across this old black and white picture of a cat hunter, hanging his dead cats from a porch. I won't put it up, but I'll include the link. I don't know what kind of cats they are, they might be bobcats, but just looking at it makes all of this rage in me, come burning up to the surface of my consciousnes. I went to look at the bidders and one of them calls himself "ihunt1", ignorant back-woods animal killing bastard. I want to harm him. Do you guys think there's a vitamin or herb cure for this?

Stupid Fucking Old Cat Killing Photo


Love you guys,


(no subject)

On the mini trip that Beau and I just took down south, we stopped in Laguna for a night and visited Scripps Birch aquarium. We love aquariums. It was great for Beau, he learned a lot. I bought a book on nudibranchs. You might remember I'm nuts about nudibranchs. A friend of mine actually gave me a silly bumper sticker that says, I brake for Nudibranchs. I'm going to go look for some pictures for you because it's been awhile since I've shown any. I just can't get enough pink, purple, red and orange these days.

These beautiful photos come from Michael D. Miller's beautiful site. You should go see it. I'm looking for orange and pink but these guys are just so beautiful.

Are these beautiful or what? Maybe you have to be a diver to appreciate them. There's just something so beautiful and graceful about them. I just love these little guys so much. While the photographs are lovely, you really have to see them living to understand this passion I feel for them.

I finally finished my belated Christmas card that I'm sending to my pals at Live Journal and anacam who were kind enough to send me some. Particularly Stacy of Atom Cam, who sent me pictures of her cats and little mini pics of ana and Stacy kissing, they are all so cute, and Blonnie, who sent me a card before I even asked for them. I included a pic of these seagulls who were hanging out with us on our balcony in Laguna Beach, and a bookmark and some stickers, and this postcard from the aquarium. I love all of you guys so much, you just lift my soul.

My housekeeper-assistant-pal Esther's, lazy, alcoholic, slacker, jerk of a husband, doesn't have work right now, as usual. I have full time help during the week. Esther used to work for us full time and would bring her little boy, Eduardo, who is thirteen now, with her. She left and became a Mom full time when she fell in love with Hugo and had her daughter Andrea, but he is such a selfish, rotten provider that when Andrea was about two, I think, Esther came back to work for us on the weekends, just to earn enough money to help support her kids.

He never works steadily and he infuriates me because he treats Esther so badly. She worked for us on her birthday and we had a mini-party for her, he didn't even bother to call. I know I should feel sorry for him and lay the blame on Esther for choosing him and for staying with him, thereby enabling him, but I can just so relate to the situation. She is overweight and doesn't think she can do any better partner wise. He is handsome but an alcoholic and a total lazy layabout. They get along when he is being little boy like and charming but he is ambivalent about being a husband and a father, he never steps up and makes their lives any better. He pulls them down and is always looking out for himself. Hmmm sound like anyone you know?

Anyway he is out of work, as usual, and had promised to come by and work for me today for a few hours. I need him to carry Beau's fish tank up to his room and to help us with the rabbit hutches and clean up the patio. Actually I was kind of making work for him to help him out. I would rather hire almost anyone else but I do it to help them out. He just came to the door, hours after he had agreed to be here, with a really nasty attitude and just because Esther said something about his being late, he huffed off in a snit and will spend the rest of the day at home in bed watching television, while Esther spends all weekend working to make their rent. She could do so much better. God how I wish she would leave him. I'm sure people must have been thinking this about me for years.


(no subject)

Any Live Journalers in my area feel the quake and the aftershocks? My dogs started howling well before I felt it and one of my cats is still pacing. I'm still really PTS'd from the last quake. Whenever I feel a rumbling, like when a truck rolls by, the adrenaline in my system rushes into my chest.

Quakes scare me. The Nothridge Quake was horrible. I was at a friend's house right in the heart of the quake area when the biggest aftershock hit. We were there trying to help him clean up his apartment. He was traumatized, everything had fallen out of the cabinets, off the walls, his place was a wreck. It was bad where we live, but nothing compared to what he went through, and when the aftershock hit it felt so much worse than the original quake had felt from our house. It knocked me to the ground and there was no way I could stand up. I tried and it simply flattened me.
I've never felt a quake that powerful. Sure they rumbled and rocked but I could always stumble my way to the doorway before. This was something far worse. We couldn't even feel relieved that we had survived it, the big one, the one we had been dreading and preparing for, for so long, because right away they told us that this was a newly discovered fault, and that we could go back to dreading the big one. Ack. For so long I was afraid ever time I had to pass under an overpass. I would wait until I was certain I ahd a clear shot through and wouldn't be stuck underneath.
God I hate earthquakes.

Okay back to the eBay grind. One of these days I'm going to get these auctions paid off.

(no subject)

Oh My God, Stacy just turned me on to this amazing place. First she sent me a card that had a pig on the cover and then I went to her website and saw that she requested donations be made to these guys. So I went and checked out their website and I'm in love. Please go check them out; for a vegetarian, animal-loving-maniac gal like me this is heaven.

"Gertrude was rescued from a battery cage egg farm. For most of her life she was forced to live in a small bare wire cage with four other hens. When she came to Farm Sanctuary, she was able, for the first time, to stretch her wings and look up at the sky, scratch in the dirt and feel the grass beneath her feet."

OMG look at this baby lamb. How can people eat them? It makes me sick.

As soon as I can afford it I'm going to sponsor a turkey. Every year around Thanksgiving I think I'll adopt one but we are so overburdened as it is, the last thing we need is a turkey so this would make a great alternative way to help, yeay. Thank you Stacy.

Farm Sanctuary

You know my Mom just told me that when I was a baby I would always throw up after she gave me my bottle. "You always threw up when you were a baby, every time you'd have your bottle. I'd just get the little bib and rub you, and bounce you up and down and then you'd throw up." I guess it never occured to her that I shouldn't have been drinking cow's milk, argh. Well, either that or all that rubbing and bouncing.

Okay, well I got through my entire file of ebay debts. Now it's on to the e-mail. My psychiatrist asked me to watch and see if I was able to get things done. Even though I feel really tense and weirdly sore, I'm getting things done. What could this mean, hmmmmm.