January 23rd, 2001

Chalkboard

(no subject)

Some Golden Globe questions for ya; What was up with Kim Cattral? Her face was so red, it looked like a chemical peel and her left eye kind of stuck. Also did Meg Ryan and Russel Crowe break up, and if so, how sad? And didn't Benjamin Bratt look kind of cold and detached towards Julia Roberts? And do you think Robert Downey Junior and Calista Flockhart are dating? And wasn't Joan's joke about her yeast infection gross? And too bad that Rene didn't think to reference Christine Lahti somehow when she came out of the bathroom. And did you guys notice that the camera kind of went down low as if it was looking for her under her table when Hugh Grant said she was drunk? And how about Elizabeth Taylor?

Segue to; I'm nuts about Steiff animals. If you ever want to make me squeal with joy, buy me a mohair Steiff animal. Well, that or a Mobley squeaky cat, or a lenticular thing or something from Tiffanys or Barneys or ummm, something cool and vintage that you picked up at an estate sale or an antique mall or a garage sale : ) or a book with lots of pictures of underwater things like the one set in Tahiti by David Doubilet, or a box of macaroons or pears from Harry and David or a pomegranite tree or plan a surprise trip and take me away somewhere or offer to tickle and rub my feet for a whole hour, or arrange for us to somehow watch another couple make love. You know, just in case you might be my boyfriend and wondering what to do for me for Valentines Day.
Chalkboard

(no subject)

You know, some time ago I went to a site that specializes in showing nude shots of people's exes. I have naked pictures of both my ex and the woman he cheated on me with. (he cheated with a lot of women but this is the only one I have naked shots of, one really disgusting one in particular). I had to think long and hard (definitely not referring to him here) about whether I wanted to do it or not, and in the end decided against it because after all I do still love him, and it's a pretty mean thing to do to someone. It doesn't exactly fit my notion of karmic decency or golden rule behavior. I would be devastated if someone did that to me, and even if it weren't an ex lover, which would be so hurtful, as an actor there are enough sketchy images of me floating around out there now to make it pretty easy for the universe to even the scales of karmic justice one me. (A particularly brave Rolling Stones video audition comes to mind here.) I mean I had to get really pissed to get over being in love with him, but I do still care for him and wouldn't want to see him suffer too much. Okay well, I'm still working on the forgiveness part, but I just can't stoop that low.

I've mentioned this before, but God how I longed to send out Christmas cards to all of our family and friends of this selfish girl, the woman he was so cruel to us for, in her tacky bra and garter belt, with her leg hiked up on a table, her fingers spreading her puss wide, and a friendly little note saying, "Meet your new in-law." But of course I couldn't do anything like that, it was just a dream that got me through some really hard times.

I also fantasized about putting up a naked collage of my ex on the net somewhere. I've got pictures of him standing nude, holding a pizza box, and all kinds of bent over, crack shots, and close ups of his dick. Conversely he never took too many of me, huh, just one more clue I should have heeded long ago. Anyway I just bring this up because I posted something about all of this on that site, the ex photo site, and someone wrote to me saying that she was going to put up pics of her ex. Apparently she had busted him when she found video he had taped of himself with another gal. Revenge is an interesting thing, I was worried about a few pics, this gal has put up videos and everything. There's a part of me that is always suspicious and thinks it might be a scam of some sort, so here is a link to some of her pages and the clip of his "hairy ass." Tell me what you think, if it's a scam, what's in it for the person who's doing it, some hits? Maybe he's just some kind of exhibitionist who has a few sadomasochistic tendencies and wants people to say mean things to him, who knows. *Shrug*

a couple of naked pics and videos of some guy

This whole thing made me realize I need to create a live journal community to help me process some of this stuff, hmmmm, I'll go see what I can do about that. Be back later. I think we're going to see Crouching Dragon Hidden Tiger. I'm worried I'll be bored. I bet it's beautiful though and I really like Ang Lee.
Chalkboard

(no subject)

I'm having a grilled cheese sandwich and fruit loops with rice milk. I had tomato soap and a soy burger earlier. For breakfast I and oatmeal with a little rice milk and a banana and a frozen fruit and apple juice smoothie, and of course a whole lot of vitamins and things. I have pretty much converted to rice milk from cow milk, ice cream is starting to gross me out, cheese is next in line. I was vegan once but I gave in and started buying leather shoes and eating dairy products again. I wish I hadn't but hopefully I can get there again. I'd like to be a vegan who will occasionally allow herself something when she's out or at a party or something. I was too rigid and hard on myself before.

I joined a few more communities today. I'm thinking of starting one but want to figure out what the name should be. I'll let you know.

My goals for tonight are;
1.) To get through a substantial portion of my e-mail.
2.) Get any outstanding Ebay auctions paid off.
3.) Decide on and register my community.
4.) Begin the process of customizing my journal.
5.) Sign up for a page at Geocities so I can put up pics.
and if that's not enough then find my cams and hook them up, yeah right I'll be lucky if I get part of one and two done. See how perfectionistic and hard on myself I am?