February 14th, 2001

Chalkboard

(no subject)



Happy Valentine's Day!!!!

Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you
Blonnie Blonnie Blonnie Blonnie Blonnie Blonnie Blonnie Blonnie Blonnie Blonnie Blonnie Blonnie Blonnie
Blonnie Blonnie Blonnie Blonnie Blonnie Blonnie Blonnie Blonnie Blonnie Blonnie Blonnie Blonnie Blonnie
Blonnie Blonnie Blonnie Blonnie Blonnie Blonnie Blonnie Blonnie Blonnie Blonnie Blonnie Blonnie Blonnie
Blonnie Blonnie Blonnie Blonnie Blonnie Blonnie Blonnie Blonnie Blonnie Blonnie Blonnie Blonnie Blonnie
Blonnie Blonnie Blonnie Blonnie Blonnie Blonnie Blonnie Blonnie Blonnie Blonnie Blonnie Blonnie Blonnie
XOXOXOOXOOOXOXOOXOXOOXXOOOXOOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXO

Blonnie sent Valentines out to people. It was the first Valentine I got, similar to the one Ana sent at Christmas (the unvalentine) and the one I sent, but really loaded, and uniquely her own. It made me sooo happy. I have her Power Puff Girl and Hello Kitty Valentines right here next to me by my monitor, and this little elephant that she hand colored next to my keyboard, and the candy I will save and look at. It cheers me up so much. Is she a sweetheart or what? I have to go thank her in person but I wanted to say something here to honor her sweet kind generous heart!!!

I'm really into holidays and Valentines has always been really special to me. As a child (well some people would say I'm still a child) I would tally my popularity factor by the number of Valentines I received. I guess that's not such a healthy thing. Thank God Beau's school asks that if you plan on giving out Valentines to anyone, you make sure you include the whole class. I was up until six am making these cute little red and white striped cellophane treat bags.

I filled them with pink and white paper heart confetti, pretty chocolate metallic cellophane wrapped hearts, one had strawberry filling, and the other had caramel and pecans, a big silver wand roll of Sweet Tarts, and a pink cherry Tootsie Pop. Then I made a really cute Valentine card to go in each one. It looked sort of like a store bought kids Valentine, you know that small size, but it had Beaus' face peeking out from behind a heart and I used candy heart letters and cut it out with those great scissors that have different blade shapes and this one had a stamp edge. I love crafts.



I sent Scott and ana, big red Godiva heart boxes of chocolates, well big for me, the biggest one was way out of my price range, yikes. Then I bought flowers from my favorite florist for Scotty and sent an arrangement to my Mom. Beau got big ruby colored stuffed bears and a huge red heart balloon, a pretty little floral arrangement, two red haired trolls, one has on a kind of sexy lingerie thing, (I wondered if that was okay to give my son but I think it's funny so I hope that's okay) the other one is a cupid troll, a really sweet pop up love bug book that he loved, a chocolate heart, and handmade cards. Noemi and Esther got smaller Godiva gold boxes, with the pretty white fabric flower on top, and big fuzzy red hearts, and I hand made these beautiful big pink collage heart shaped Valentines for everyone as well. I also gave Noemi some cool stamps, because she collects them, and Esther's little girl got a Barney Valentine's tape. I have to hide it in my closet or the bigger kids might take it out in the yard and set it on fire, ha just kidding, you're the one's who'd be more likely to do that, but then again it isn't cool to hate Barney any more so maybe it would take something like a sweet innocent little lipstick covered Beanie Baby to inspire that kind of wild fiery hatred.



Property where I live is outrageously expensive and overpriced. If I had any say in the matter and didn't live under my mother's loving thumb I'd go north and look for a nice valley or farm land or something beautiful by the ocean with space for horses, goats, chickens, piggies and mules. People want to buy and sell my house so badly that brokers send me presents on every holiday. Can you imagine the insanity of that? I have a heart shaped box of See's Candies right in front of me, from this broker I hardly know, and I'm going to eat one of them right now. Of course I can't chew on the right side of my mouth so I'll have to gum it to death.

BTW, as I get more agitated trying to tear into this tightly wrapped heart here, wasn't the See's "Never Too Late to Have a Happy Childhood" advertising campaign repulsive? What were they thinking? Hey kids, you may have been abused or molested by Mom and Dad, but if you still have any teeth left, you can rot out the remainder, by becoming candy addicts, and putting those dark pesky childhood memories aside?

My office is covered in glitter and little paper hearts and I'm covered with glitter, so much so that I see little glints of it out of the corners of my eyes. Now I have to go work on Scott's presents, he gets (Hey Scotty stop reading this if you haven't seen me yet)

(Can I tell you how much I hate money lending hard cash business people? I'm working on this kind of desperation loan right now, on my building, and I got what I thought was a great referral, and they are totally screwing me. Luckily for me, my man works for an important property managing law firm, and his great boss is stepping in as a favor to my boyfriend, and hopefully helping me out. Thank you God and of course Scotty.)



Tomorrow is vagina and uterus examination day for me, and even though I'm relieved that I'm going, I'm scared. I have to have my IUD removed, and then an ultra sound of my ovaries to see if I have cysties. Scott's coming so I won't be so scared and all alone. Although it's kind of embarrassing and humiliating to have him see me that way. Fuck. This is a new gynecologist too, so that's an added fear thing. I loved my last gynecologist. She was sweet and kind and smart, she wore groovy hippy shoes, and had hair so curly, springy, and tight, it made me want to kiss her. Sadly though, she wasn't on call the day I went into labor and I wound up with one of the male partners in her practice. I'm convinced her did something weird when he sewed me up, you know like "and one more stitch for Daddy" because I always get this irritating stingy little tear whenever we are too umm, active. Plus he was pissed off at me that I had taken Bradley and wanted to have a natural birth and no episiotomy. He was hardly three at all, it's the labor and delivery nurses who hang out with you for all of the hard part and then the docs rush in at the last second and are there for anything scary and complicated that might happen. He wanted to come on in, cut open a nice easy to suture episiotomy, pop the baby out and be done. It takes longer to sew a tear, but it's much easier to recover from, and tears are rarely as deep and long as episiotomies. God, who wants to someone to cut open their vagina to make it easier for the detached uncaring doctor with an attitude. Oh I'm sorry, I know I'm keeping you from your dinner but I really don't want to lose sensation in part of my vagina, would you mind waiting a moment and risking a tear rather than cutting me open? Grrrr. Oh well, Vaginas and Valentines, they go together.



I know this is a really long one but hopefully the pretty cards will break it up for you and I've saved the best for last; I have to tell you my annoying Mom, and the Colleagues Valentine Luncheon, story. This will make me look materialistic and spoiled if nothing else has. I just hope you'll try to understand from my perspective.

Okay, my mother belongs to this very exclusive, charity group of women who lunch. All very wealthy wives of important men; Nancy Reagan, Betsey Bloomingdale, the ex Mrs. Rupert Murdoch, old moneyed California movers and shakers. While I don't agree with their politics some of these women are really lovely people, and the one's who really care about raising money to support this good cause (Children's Institute, who help abused children and their families. They used to support Saint Anne's Home for Unwed Mother's, but that went out with the late sixties) are truly good.

When they were a younger group and had energy they used to rent out this huge auditorium and have this unbelievably cool rummage sale. It took half a year to get ready for it. Everyone solicited tax deductible donations, and amazing things poured in. We'd gather these items in a space we rented during the year and then drop in once or twice a week and price and sort things and box them up for storage and later transportation to the sale. It was an amazing sale. You could buy really wonderful things for very little. People lined up hours in advance to get in. Of course the best part of it was that we could buy things before the public ever saw any of it, and many of us furnished our houses and build collections out of the many cool estate items you could find there. It was easily the highlight of my antique and junk loving heart's year. We worked very, very hard, had fun, found amazing things, and had a blast doing it. We raised hundreds of thousands of dollars for our pet charity and then topped the whole thing off with a big party at Jimmy's, a very nice restaurant that has since gone out of business.

As the women got older though, and less inclined to work quite so hard, they discovered that they could raise money more easily, by throwing extravagant fashion show luncheons, that people would pay a huge fee to attend. So they abandoned the beloved sale. The luncheon always takes place on Valentine's Day, there is always a department store that sponsors it like Neiman's or Saks, and a famous designer like Valentino, Giorgio Armani, Oscar de La Renta etc. Women host big round tables for twelve and there is competition among the ladies for the best one's closest to the runway. The food is good, the favors are exclusive, like a perfume that has yet to be released, or the designer's latest mini-purse or makeup colors, the air is rarefied, the press take pictures, everyone wants tickets, no one can get them, it's a big deal and kind of fun.

There is always an honored guest or two, who receives an award for their goodness towards children's charities. The last year I went, it was Diane Sawyer and her husband Mike Nichols. My godmother, who has since passed away, was Nancy Reagan's best friend, so I got to meet everyone, which was nice. I've meet both of the Reagan's a few times before, I'm a Democrat, but even still it's nice to meet them, and you can't fault her for being so loving and devoted to her husband. I truly admire her for that, and honestly he is one of the most charismatic people I have ever met, so charismatic, that despite my young though fervent political convictions, I threw my arms around his neck when I first met him. I had even been a dancing peanut at the democratic National Convention in New York for Jimmy Carter. I will always have a very soft spot in my heart for President Carter, I got to meet him too, (flutter, flutter sigh).

So today was the annual luncheon and because I'm a space queen I had forgotten that it was coming up. I had stopped going the year Robby left because I was too sad and just didn't want to have to put on a good face and answer all those sweet ladies polite inquiries about him. What would I say? Oh Robby, he's living with some stripper in his truck, on some construction site somewhere, thank you very much, and how is your little vineyard? Plus there's always the thrill of trying to find something chic and expensive looking in my size. So I opted out. Then the next year Mom squeezed me out because she needed my seat and this year she didn't even bother to ask, which kind of hurt. I would have gone if I'd known it would be a Chanel fashion show, and the honorees were Annette Benning and Warren Beatty. See I told you I was going to start to look shallow, but wait, it gets worse.

Yesterday over lunch when Mom told me this, I was a little bit sad that I hadn't been included so I told her I'd get over it if I could have her favor. She never wants them anyway, she doesn't really appreciate groovy makeup things and usually gives it to me for Christmas the following year, along with things I've given her that she didn't really like and though I'd forgotten about, weeee. So we got into this big debate about how rude that is and it ended with her saying I could have whatever little Chanel thing she got, but again, I would get it for Christmas next year. Never mind that she gets it for free, it's Valentines, I give her a big expensive floral bouquet and pretty cards and she never gives me anything. Argh. So this afternoon I called her to see if she got her flowers. Her housekeeper answered and said she hadn't seen them yet, she was getting changed, but she took the phone out of her hand and started telling me all about the luncheon. The snag happened when I asked her about the favor (eeee embarrassing petty materialistic Jacqui part coming up) and she told me that she had promised it to someone else. Well, you'd just have to understand my history with my Mother to understand why a little thing like that would hurt me. She always promises me things and then takes them away, She reminds me of someone who has a bag full of jewels, diamonds and rubies, and bestows them, not on her loyal court, but instead sprinkles them on whoever is closest and with whom she can curry the most favor at the moment. In this case it was my father's nurse Aurelia, (who i really love and don't begrudge anything) because get this, the favor was Chanel's new lipstick and polish in these cool dark colors in this neat little black and gold bag and because the makeup was ark, she thought it was black and because she thinks Aurelia is black, (she's from Belize and I don't know what that makes her, but certainly not automatically African) she gave it to her. I got my feelings hurt, it brought up old family of origin stuff for me, I told her it was unfair and that I was hurt and she mother called me greedy and piggy. I cried. End of stupid story.



Now I really have to hustle to get over to Scott's in time and I don't even have any energy or Valentine's enthusiasm left.

Love you guys,
Jac.
XOXOXO