March 27th, 2001

Chalkboard

(no subject)

I'm so sad and worried. I know that things will be okay but it is so hard to keep the fear and stress at bay.

The loan still isn't settled yet and I only have a few days to go before I have to go tell my Mother which if you remember anything about her, will be hell on earth for me.

Remember the dress that I wanted to buy on Ebay, well I put my high reserve bid on it on Ebay itself and then went and put an even higher reserve at a sniping service. Then along came an old mixed up debt, a stupid auction that somehow fell through the cracks, either I paid the seller and the mail went missing, or in all of my goofiness I screwed up. The seller asked Ebay for a refund of their stupid listing fee, which was probably all of about 50 cents, because it was only for an inexpensive postcard, then Ebay suspended me. I have close to six hundred positive feedback and only two negatives but if you get three non paying bidder alerts you're out of the game. So this all happened right when I was bidding on my grandmother's dress and poof, my account is gone and I couldn't bid. If I'd had enough time or known about it, i would have reregistered with another name and at least saved the dress.

I was going to have a birthday party on Thursday which is my birthday, but I can't afford it and I don't want to ask people to pay of their own dinner, so I called the restaurant and cancelled it this morning. Is it just me or are there other people out there who are banging their heads against walls?

I called my astrology line and this is what I copied down;

Aries
I recently heard an interesting statement that the famous women's basketball coach, Terra AVnderveer made, and I wanted you to know about it Aries. She said that every great player always has a screw loose. I found this very interesting. My interpretation of this is that in order to reach her highest potential, a woman basketball player cannot be normal. She has to follow her heart with an almost mad passion. She has to be pretty unconcerned what people thing of her. She has to be ready to do whatever it takes to feed her genius.

I happen to think this assessment holds true in almost every field. If you don't like to make waves, if you prefer to conform to the status quo, if you are eager to please people, it will be difficult to summon the passion that you will need to follow your dreams. If you don't have a screw loose you can too easily fall under the spell of what passes for respectable behavior, you will be held hostage by mediocre standards that are enforced by so called respectable behavior.

In other words Aries I am suggesting that if you don't have a screw loose, you should make sure that you do have a screw loose in the coming weeks. This will allow you to summon all your most wild eyed originality, this uncompromised drive for originality is what you will need to summon the forces that will put you in alignment with what your true path and vision is. This is what will attract the approval and the help of cosmic forces. I believe that if you do act as if you have a screw loose you will have more beginners luck than you have had in years, possibly since your last incarnation.

That ain't all, you can also expect to have in ridiculous abundance, furious curiosity and precociousness.
On top of that you should be glowing with insatiable spontaneity, overflowing with incisive innocence.
You should be overflowing with your tactless talent for speaking the truth that hurts so good

In short Aries if you get that screw loose you will be a veritable whirling dervish of merciful unpredictability and mischievous wisdom.
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