May 22nd, 2001

Chalkboard

(no subject)

Last night one of our kittens died, and today my little rattie died.



I don't even remember what this picture was, I put it in my little journal prog a while ago. I'm about to take Beau to the doctor, then I have to buy him clothes for the funeral. Noemi was in her helping me feed the rats ans she said, "I'm sorry Miss Jacqui (she won't stop calling me miss, I've tried, so now I call her Miss Noemi) I know you are sad but I have bad news, your little rat died." See what I mean? It can get much worse and continues to do so. Please don't worry about posting to me, you must be so tired of it by now. No offense, but I'm starting to seem like Zuul.

Oh I remember it was a postcard with a black cat. I love black cats. I loved this rat. She lived so long. She had a big tumor and she almost died a few months ago. I knew she wouldn't live much longer.

Hey, at least they managed to get the date of the funeral in the obituary. I changed the outgoing message on my answering machine because I thought it would be too hard for nuns and priests and grieving friends to have to sit through when they call. It ahd my cat Sparkle meowing, but I have another message that's almost the same on my other line, and Lord knows, Sparkle and I can always make another, all I have to do is hold the phone near him and he starts talking, he's so cute. Maybe I have a picture of him for you. I'm going to go look and see.


Okay it's a really bad picture, but at least you can see him and his funny eyes.

Hey maybe God or the Universe is just kind of trying to get things over with while I'm already sad, you know, save me a prolonged grieving period by having me deal with it all at once.

Please don't worry you guys, it's okay, I just need to talk about it all somewhere. I'd rather be someone who takes lots of risks, by loving a lot, than be someone who doesn't get hurt because she loves little.
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Chalkboard

(no subject)

Now Beau's only pet mouse died.

You won't believe this but as we were cleaning the rattie cages, Beau decided to bring in his mouse, and have us clean her cage, but he couldn't find her, and I just knew she would be dead. He just played with her yesterday. Am I a bad person? Why does this keep happening?