August 2nd, 2001

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Burning Man Bride and Groom


Hi Sweet Buddies,

I think I've put this picture up before but I changed data storage providers and found it again. These guys were so sweet, they were just getting ready for their wedding, when I snapped this. They invited me but I was on my way to somewhere else. I should have gone. Tick, tick, tick.

I am late as always, got caught up in posting a thread about porn and partners on a friends journal. I have therapy, which I am always late for, then I have to go meet with the vet who is working on Gelato. She is in full renal failure, and I'm so dreading having to inject fluids under her skin at home. beau is so wonderufl, he said, "Mom if you;re squeamish, I'll figure out how to do it and do it for you." God I love my son.

My friend is preforming her play once more, or a piece of it, in Long Beach at 8:00 tonight, I so wish I could go but there's just no way. I haven't seen my therapist in weeks and weeks and I have to meet with the vet and visit poor lonely hurting Gelato. Of course my friend will probably hate me and I feel helpless and upset about it, sigh. I so want to be accepted as I am by the people I love, to have people understand me and get me, and appreciate what I can do, rather than being upset with me for the things I can't.

Meanwhile the oil in my car is a dark sludgy brown and hasn't been changed yet.
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I just got home, looong day. The good news is that Gelato might make it for a little while longer. Her kidneys are only about 25% functional but with really careful home care she could live a while like that. That's providing she continues to improve. The doctor was really nice, shhh don't tell my sweetheart, but I should so marry a vet. Maybe he'll go to veterinary school, not.



Umm, what else, oh my therapist went to a funeral today, because one of her suite mates, a woman she's known for ten years, died in a car accident. She has a five year old daughter, and she was a children's therapist. I try to believe that things happen as they are meant to, but it seems so sad. Susan said (I have a lot of Susans in my life, so just so you don't get confused, this is Susan my therapist) she thinks a part of her must have known because just that morning she had suddenly felt like going to church when she hadn't been in years.



Oh and I got my oil changed. That should be a relief to the car conscientious among you.

These are some dresses of my grandmother's that I am bidding on. I get so excited when I find one. I am sooo slowly building my precious collection, and take it so personally when anyone tries to outbid me. I always have to consider whether to put them up here for you to see because I worry someone will want to bid on them. Please don't, I would be so sad. Not that these are the best examples, the pictures don't do them justice, but sometimes people like them like I do.

I lost one to a woman in Alaska of all places, (who knew she would bid over three hundred, which I thought was a high, safe, max to set), and I lost another one to a woman who buys and resells prom dresses. I begged her for it, offered to pay double or triple what she had paid but noooo, nope, no luck, she sad she just might want to wear it as a wedding dress, monster woman. I know all is fair in love and bidding, but this is my FAMILY we're talking about here, not just any old vintage dress. I read in People that Winona Ryder is planning on selling off her clothing hoard to donate the moneys to charity. I've been hearing for years that she is a big vintage buyer. I've heard that both she and Demi Moore, have warehouses to store their collections. I would so love to see if they had any of my Mother or Grandmother's dresses.



I want to be thinner so I can wear these clothes. I LOVE vintage clothing. I'd also like to be thinner so I could ride horses, scuba dive more confidently, be able to do more, umm, exciting things with my partner, be healthier, look better and feel more confident about myself, but unfortunately I don't seem to be able to pull it off. I'll keep hoping and trying though.

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