March 4th, 2002

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It says here in this little ad that if I take this pill my boobs will get bigger, hunh. There's also a pill to make guys bigger in, umm, certain areas. Gosh, I wonder if this will work as well as all of those weight loss pills. I'm going to hold my breath.
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I'm eating poppy muffins. Do you think if I took a random drug test I'd test positive for drug use?

Is the tongue a muscle? Can you put little weights on it and make it stronger and better at doing certain things?

More snow is coming for the Midwest, yikes, and I haven't seen snow for years.

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This is my favorite postcard in all the world. It was the very first card I collected and it cost a shocking sixty five dollars at the time. It's so much prettier in person. I love cards by this artist, Samuel Schmucker, I think. He designed cards for Winsch.



I'm sooooooo sick, I really need to be in bed, but I have to make some kind of photo image thing for this LA Times charity supplement. My Mother always waits 'till the last second to ask me. She wants a picture of Beau but she's really picky, hates that he's a bit chubby, (she's vehemently anti-fat, nice hunh) and she doesn't like the picture I already made up for this year. she thinks the cute little hat he's wearing looks bad. Argh, grrrrrrrrr.

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Oh man I'm so stressed out. Things are just not working out with Saida, my housekeeper/assistant. I speak fluent Spanish and she just doesn't get anything I ask her to do. She can sort of do the basics but when I specifically ask ehr to do something she just doesn't get it. I'll give you a specific example, just one from today. I asked her if she could find my digital camera, I asked her to look in my car. Time creeps by. Saida doesn't come back and page me and let me know if she had any success. Finally I decide to try to page her (we have an intercom system because it's just easier) but I didn't think she'd answer since she was probably still outside.

Saida: Hello?
Me: Oh hi Saida, I thought you were outside.
Saida: (Dully) Oh, should I pick up the kids now?
Me: What happened with the camera?
Saida: Oh I couldn't find it.
Me: Why didn't you let me know?
Saida: Well, I looked around for it and couldn't find it.
Me: Did you look in the car?
Saida: The car?
Me: Yes, Saida, the car. I asked you to please look in the car.
Saida: Oh, I didn't look there.
Me: Okay forget the camera. I'm feeling really queasy, and I need some food, will you please make me some soup, and then go for the kids?
Saida: I'll make you some soup and then look in the car.
Me: No Saida, please forget about the camera, just get me some soup and pick up the kids please?
Saida: Okay I'll get you some soup.

Ten minutes later she shows up with the camera.

Writing about this makes me feel like such a bitch. I'm very aware that I'm lucky to even be in this position. I know how minor my little housekeeper problem is compared to some of the unbelievably challenging things people are going through, but I'm really dependant on whoever I hire and I neeeed the help. I'm not in the world's best shape, and I can't possibly take care of everything by myself.

Maybe I'm just feeling kind of defeated and blue because I'm so sick. I have strep throat and I really should be in bed. Also it's extra upsetting because I know I should let her go and get someone much more capable, but I'm trapped by my desire to help her out. She's in a really bad position right now financially, and she has a son who is depending on her. If I let her go, she would lose the house she just moved in to. Just the other day she was saying, "All a person really needs is their health and a job. I was so depressed when I was sick last week I felt like I was all alone in the world with noone to help me or love me. But now that I'm well everything looks better and I thank God for this job and my health" Oh maaaaaaan.