April 29th, 2002


(no subject)

Transsexual Owlopus

Still here in Palm Springs. I feel too out of touch with my life at home. I'm worried I may have missed one of my best girlfriend's birthday's. I'm worried that my housekeepers aren't walking our dogs and that poor Jack, the once skinny pound dog, is becoming more pudding and sausage like by the day.

I miss my boyfriend, a lot. There are too many mirrors here and every time I see my reflection I think that he must really love me to want to make love to a woman who looks like this. I want to be beautiful for him, both inside and out. I want to be able to do things in loving that I haven't been able to do for years and I know I have to lose weight in order to. I know it's maudlin and self pitying but it's the truth and I'm committed to Live Journal honesty.

The wind is blowing strongly here. The trees are alive with it and the windows and doors are rumbling and bumping with the force of it. Wind always frightens me, Scott and Beau love it, so do the cats.

I bought some CDs at Best Buys the other day and I'm loving this new CD by Jack Johnson, (I hope that's the right name, I happen to be partial to the name Jack for my Father), Brushfire Fairytales. At first I thought it was kind of plain and simple but after I listened to it a second time I began to realize how wonderful it is. Some of the lyrics are just brilliant in their simplicity and the music really is great. I love Bubble Toes, I played it over and over until I had the lyrics memorized. I love Hawaii so much, he grew up there so I'm sure that has something to do with my liking his music.

Beau set the Lilo and Stitch screen saver for my laptop. I think the little Stitch alien is so cute. I'm such a sucker for alien monster beings with big blinky eyes. I also love anything lenticular (3D) and was obsessing over the new Disney poster that I've seen. I kept asking movie theatre people if they'd sell it and then it occurred to me that I might be able to find one on eBay and there it was for just thirty-five bucks.

I had a dream last night that I was a male to female transsexual with a kind of Latin flavor thing going on. I was trying to get to my car in this parking lot and there were a whole bunch of macho Latino guys hanging out together near me. I knew they were going to hassle me. I was wearing a tight fitting sleeveless floral dress and heels. One of the guys started asking me questions about my sexuality and the surgery and I was explaining that I wasn't gay and that some people are just born the wrong sex and need help to straighten things out. We started speaking Spanish and I realized that he didn't mean to harm me, he had similar feelings and needed my help.

Some time had passed and the man I had been helping had taken on more of a female persona. But now the other guys were pissed. They didn't like what I had done to their friend. They grabbed us and were forcing us to walk up this hill. I knew they meant to hurt us. When we got to the top of this hill they executed my new friend, shot him in the head at really close range. I would be next. I ran and jumped in to the bushes. There were about seven or eight guys chasing me. They would have to find me and kill me now because I had seen them murder their friend.

I try to hide behind palm trees and in sand. I'm thinking that if I can bury myself in the sand quickly enough and use a hollow twig or stick to breathe I might be able to hide out long enough for them to go away. I'm running and I fall into a gorge with water rushing through the bottom of it. All of the rocks are orange and red, pretty colors. I am hugging the edge of a rock, trying not to get sucked down a waterfall. I look to my right and there is a funny creature there. He is like an octopus but with an owl face. He is imitating me and saying, "Help, Help!" He is lifting all of his tentacles to his mouth, one by one, and tasting them.

When I told Scott about my dream he said I had invented a new cartoon character and that I should call him an owlopus.

Have I ever told you guys how much I love Forrest Whitaker? He's just so wonderful, I want to sit on his lap and hug his neck.

(no subject)

It's hard to get up and get going when you're so beautiful naked.

I have to go get cat litter and Advil though. Did you know that sponge Bob had a pet snail named Gary who meows like a kitty? Isn't that cute?