June 11th, 2002


(no subject)

It wasn't just diet that made the vegetarians so much healthier, Dr. Fraser says. "A vegetarian is much more than someone who doesn't eat meat," he points out. "They're much more likely to eat legumes, exercise a bit more, are more health conscious."

Bwa ha ha ha ha ha, laughs Jacqui as she sits on her fat ass comtemplating Entenmans and wondering how she will find the srength to walk downstairs to interview more housekeeper candidates. If only. Soon, my darlings soon, I will be perfect and take over the world, *evil maniacal but health conscious laugh* and piss off all the skinny bikini girls by living an additional ten years.

This was actually a pretty reasonable article. I wouldn't mind adding a "profoundly longer number of years" to my life. It says that you need to be having sex at least once a day in order to acchieve this kind of Okinawan longevity, heh, just kidding, I'm just trying to get my Scott's ummm, attention.

"Compared with other Californians, we found that Adventist men lived about 7.3 years longer and women lived about 4.4 years longer," Fraser tells WebMD. "And for vegetarian Adventists who eat meat [no more than] once a month -- which accounts for about 30% Adventists -- the differences in life expectancy swell to 9.5 years in men and 6.1 years in women. Those are pretty big numbers."

Okay well, I guess that's it for me, time for a sex change operation and a switch in religious affiliations.

(no subject)

Oh thank God I finally finished listening to the messages on the machine. This has been so hellish for me. I got so stressed out today I had to just shut everything out and lay down. I guess I'm just not used to this level of stress and social contact. Man I hate to see myself this way, as being Jacqui the hermit girl, may I please have a Xzanax. I've never had one, I don't even know if I spelled that correctly, but I want one, oh man do I want one. Ana? Anyone? I can't believe how crappy I feel.

Here's a sample of the kind of calls I'm getting;

Hola soy interesada en el trabajo, por favor llamar me? Okay bye.
Hi, I'm interested in the job, please call me? Okay bye.
No name no number. Eeep delete.

Buenas Dias. Mi nombre es Aracelli, tengo referencias, tengo caro, soy ciudano, me gusta los animales. Por favor llama me a
shmiga uno los tres, nueve zero shmrpla Muchisimas gracias.

Good Day. My name is Aracelli, I have references, a car, I'm a citizen, and I like animals. Please call me at shmiga one the three
nine zero shmrpla. Thank you very much.

Oh Soyla sola contesta la machina, ella dice que quiere una persona que maneja y tegusta animales. Hay pues que me puedo dicir?
Oh Soyla, it's just the answering machine, she says she wants a person who can drive and she likes animals. Oh well what can I say?

and my favorite
Hi, my name ees Marta. I likey dey animals
Hi my name is Martha. I like the animals.

Then there are the eighteen year olds who sound like they're desperately trying to get away, the elderly women whose kids have grown and they need a place to live, the Moms with screaming babies in the background looking for work to support their no good drunk bastard partners, the people who have just arrived, the mumblers, the rude pushy ones, the hmmm I'm just thinking about this gals, and the few who might work out for us. Finding the right person this way is like looking for diamonds in the sand with a Ronco metal detector.

I hate it so much I don't even want to write about it anymore, and my neighbor's dog has been barking continuously for about three hours now. I'm in no position to complain, but man this is pretty bad. I judge my neighbor behind me for being so nuts that she goes out in her backyars and yells things at this dog, "Shut up you goddamned bastard dog, you just shut up now!" but when it goes on like this I kind of understand the need to dialogue with Mr. Barky. Poor dog, I wonder what's up that he feels the need to do this.

I'm sorry I have to go now my boyfriend Art Bell is on.

(no subject)

This is one of my all time favorite posters. I wanted to buy one of the originals several years ago but couldn't afford it. If I could find a really big one I'd replace one of the posters above the stairs with it. This is a repro but it's only a foot and a half tall.