February 22nd, 2003


Housekeeper Troubles

Have any of you been watching ABC's I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here? I like it, well, everything except the Bush Tucker trials because just as in Fear Factor they endanger other living creatures. I hate that these shows don't get blasted for harming bugs and little rodents. Who draws the line between animals who are protected from cruelty and one's who are not?

I can't watch Survivor for the same reason. I have nine pet rats and when I saw them take two rats and dump them in Melissa Rivers big plastic pants along with spiders, worms, maggots, crickets, and flies, I got so mad because I know how frightened they must have been. And yet, I'm still watching the show, so what does that say about my convictions? That I'm just as bad as the producers and everyone else I guess.

I just love reality TV. I wish I could come up with a terrific concept, find the right person to pitch it to, produce a winning show, and walk away millions of dollars richer. Then I'd buy a house on river front property in Aspen, yes I would. I'd also build a studio for Scott and hire an amazing producer for his next CD.

But back to the celebrity jungle adventure for a moment here, what do you think of the Alana vs Julie Brown fight? I think Alana is a bit pampered and delicate, overreactive and sensitive, and Julie is being a complete bitch. It's definitely fun to watch but I couldn't decide who I disliked the most and wanted to force to undergo another Bush Tucker trial. I think Bruce Jenner would have been better off without all the plastic surgery that you can't possibly miss when you look at his face. I like Robin Leach and think he's pretty brave to take this on at his age and in the shape he's in. I like Maria Conchita Alonso but the bugs seem to be bothering her because she keeps twitching her nose. I think Nikki is really cute and fun to watch. You had to have noticed that the camera cut to Cris Judd's answer about women cheating and not think he was thinking about his recent breakup with Jennifer Lopez. Even Stuttering John is coming off like a nice guy. I wonder what Howard thinks about all of this and if he is talking about this on his show. I think Taye Diggs is gorgeous and I wish they wouldn't have blurred out his private parts when he was standing in the pond there and bathing.

I'm amazed that all of these celebs were willing to be seen like this, without makeup, and I'm wondering when they say they are allowed to bring one luxury item, what those items were, and how come Nikki has makeup when the other women don't. Was that her luxury item? Wouldn't one piece of makeup count as a luxury item, she must have four or five different things, base, blush, lipstick, shadow, mascara. Hmmmm. I know I'd bring mosquito repellent or an umbrella. It amazes me that they are willing to endure such total discomfort. I'm pretty game, but the constant rain and having to sleep on wet cots without anything to protect them from the elements seems really rough. I mean can't they get sick? And who the heck were those bush guys, they didn't look too bushy to me?

And now just to segue to something completely different and utterly mundane, I'm pissed at Esther (our weekend housekeeper) because just as she always does, with every new housekeeper we hire, she's causing problems with Irma, (our housekeeper during the week). I've offered her the weekly job many times and she doesn't want it. Esther likes her freedom. She's lazy and she likes to come and go as she pleases. If she needs extra money she just pressures me to allow her to work a couple extra days during the week, which means I have to pay two people to be here. Whenever we hire another person to work here during the week, the inevitable jealousy and bickering starts because Esther comes late and leaves early, and doesn't do her job well enough on the weekends, so the weekly person sees that I favor Esther and begins to get resentful. In Irma's case she has noticed this and moved on. But for Esther's part, she is jealous that Irma gets more benefits than she does. She wants sick days and paid vacation as well. I try so hard to be fair, whenever I give something to one, I give it to the other, and the same goes for their children. I just hate that I feel like Esther is jealously watching everything and tallying it all up. I hate being an employee. I hate that they are poor and I feel so responsible for making it up to them.

I can barely afford to pay for two people as it is, without having to pay double every time someone gets sick. I am willing to do it for the person who works for us full time but not for the person who works part time. It isn't fair for Esther to expect to be able to just take off weekends and have me pay her for them. Even so I already paid her two weekends worth of vacation pay last year because she was complaining so much. The latest complaining has been about wanting sick days and holidays. What holidays fall on weekends? Oh and she doesn't complain to my face, she does it behind my back, to Irma, which just makes everything one big stressful gossipy mess. She gets jealous when I don't deduct Irma's pay when she gets a Monday holiday. I'm not gonna make her work on a major holiday and I'm not going to dock her for it, it just wouldn't be fair. I'm just so burnt out on the whole thing. If I didn't have so many pets, and wasn't in such poor health, I'd just forget them, save all the money, and do it all myself.

Just so you don't think I'm a complete shit. I really do everything I can for them. I am as over committed and stretched out as I could possibly be. I've lied and enrolled their children in better local schools. I give them birthday parties. I take them on trips and out to eat. I give them money for school and presents and clothes and treat them with respect, welcoming them as family. I don't mind doing any of this. I think charity begins at home and that whatever God puts in front of you is yours to care for, but I just can't stand it when I feel so missed, so unappreciated.

I want to tell Esther to go out in the world and find a better job since she seems to hate this one so much. If she would make a little effort, learn to speak a bit of English, learn to drive, try to work on her legal status, she could get a better job. Find someone who can afford to pay more for less work. But then again she'd have to pay taxes and make a commitment to be at her job on time and not take days off.

Everything came to a head for me yesterday and I confronted Esther. Imagine trying to talk about charged uncomfortable issues in a different language. Well, she was as guarded and defensive as usual. She wanted to know how I knew what she was feeling. Basically I told her that I was tired of the gossiping and that if she has something to say to say it to me and not to burden Irma with it. Not to be mad at her for repeating something to me but rather to be mad at herself for being so negative and burdening her with it. She told me that she thought I was creating una tormenta en un vaso, basically a tempest in a teapot, and waffled between admitting that she thought it was unfair that Irma got certain benefits that she didn't, and denying that she said anything to her. It was just so uncomfortable and ugly. I ended up crying because I genuinely care about Esther, and I truly don't know if she cares about me. She can be so tough and could sometimes. Blah, I feel like such a bourgeois pig when I write about this kind of stuff. I have half a mind to hit delete. Screw it.

(no subject)

Look at this sweetie-pie kitty.

My computer is acting really weird, I don't know what's going on, ack. I've been trying to reach Scott today. He's going to be performing at a Borders tonight and I think I feel well enough to go with him. I have to buy some water because we are completely out. I hate not having money. I go from such extremes, from having plenty of cash and room on my cards, to not having anything and worrying about how I'm going to afford groceries. It all depends on Jeannette (my Mother) and what kind of mood she's in, what the latest money game is that we're playing. God I'm sick of this.