March 22nd, 2003


Compulsive Shopping, My Last Meal, and Goodbye To Solid Food For A While

Someone buy me this gorgeous green flapper dress please? Isn't it pretty, oh, sigh.

I had fun shopping today, my last big compulsive blow out for a while. Since I had some room on my credit card I went out and bought this big fiberglass cow that I had been wanting for a while. It's actually a baby cow. What do you call baby cows? Anyway it's about the size of a love seat and it's going to go in my front yard. I am going to plant tall grass and wildflowers around it so it will have it's own little meadow. I am so hoping this will bug the shit out of the only neighbors I hate. The ones who freaked out when I put a big lifeguard chair in my garden.

I also went to the antique mall and bought two big ninety year old horizontal wooden signs to hang up near the ceilings in my kitchen and in my bedroom. They're so cool, one is red with raised gold Chinese and Thai characters, and the other is black with gold characters. I hope they don't say something like, Fresh Dog Served Here, or Pretty Prostitutes for Your Pleasure. Ya never know. I also bought a really cool old Chinese shrine/alter that's from the thirties. It's hard to describe but it's really exotic and cool. Ouch, wheat thin poke in the gums. Owwww.

I did the same thing with dinner, Mexican food at El Cholo; cheese enchiladas, guacamole and chips, a virgin pina colada, a few bites of flan, and tea. Earlier I had gone to Sees candies to buy my fave white chocolate cashew brittle. I bought a one pound box, that's a lot of little pieces of this stuff, and I could barely eat one. So now I have to find someone thin to give it to tomorrow.

Now after a stressful few hours trying to hook up with the wild peace marchers in Westwood, following them to Santa Monica, and facing off against the scary helmet clad police squads, I am feeling hungry again. So I'm going for a little cheese, some olives, and some wheat thins. When I wake up I will begin a several week or month regimen of clear fluids, clear diet Jello, and diet popsicles.

I'm watching Craig Kilburn. Anyone wonder whether Burt McCracken, of the cauliflower penis nickname, broke up with Kelly Osbourne, or if she broke up with him, and why?

Does this turn you on? Lavalife singles are waiting for your calls. Mike likes taking romantic walks with his little dog to the convenience store. I don't know, does that do it for you, the whole walk to the convenience store thing?

Alrighty this was my last bite of solid food for a long time. Goodbye to overeating fattening food and hello to living.

And oddly enough Martha Stewart is showing one of her staff members how to pack for going to the hospital.

(no subject)

Well, today is fleet phosphate soda day. Everyone who has had this surgery says this is worse than the actual surgery and hospitalization. Ack, whateva, diarrhea, dehydration, and nausea never stopped me. I have a big plastic cow to play with.

I have so much to do and say and write before this surgery. I just hope I can feel well enough and make the time to do it.

I may be getting another moonbounce for the kids, just to take their minds off of things for a bit. Four days of non stop helicopters hovering over our house, screams, and cops marching in formation is a lot for anyone to take.

Please please say a prayer for me so that I won't barf from taking medications without any food in my stomach.

Thanks so much everyone for all of your love and support. I'm finding it super hard to write back to everyone, I just may need to read your comments and thank you for them in my heart for now. I'll try but if I can't write back I'll hold you in my heart and get back to you when I'm on the other side of this.

Look at this lovely woman shrink from five hundred pounds to 165.

And here are two more terrific weight loss stories with before and after pictures.


Two Days and Counting

Fleet's Phosphate Soda is definitely nasty tasting. Like salty sacharin syrup. But if you can break it up into smaller amounts and mix it with a cold juice drink like Snapple, it's much easier to handle. It's really no big deal this way. Certainly not as horrible as people have described. Now I just have to wait for my body to explode.

I'm worried about getting all of my eBay auctions paid before I'll be too weak to take care of them. How will I be able to do this if I'm running to the toilet every five seconds?

I've been reading through so many WLS journals and it seems like everyone's bowel prep is different. My friend Karen, who had the lap band, was wondering why I have to stop eating two days prior to the surgery. I don't know. I read another hospital's bowel prep instructions on line and they don't even use the bowel purging liquids. They write something about it being healthier to leave the colon alone, rather than flushing it of it's healthy bacteria. It seems to me that you would want everything to be as free from possible bacteria as possible so it can't get into your bloodstream.

What do I know? I'm just doing what my doctor told me and so far it hasn't been that bad. I'm really not hungry.

So somehow I am going to pay all of these many overdue eBay debts, write a bit about what it feels like to live in a large body in a fat hating society, write good-bye letters to my son, my mother, my boyfriend, and my best friends, just in case, and make sure my will is in order. A lot of scary challenging stuff to face.

Love you guys - Jacqui

PS: I got the moonbounce for the kids for tomorrow. It should be really fun. I found another company that makes these really cool moonbounces. This one is double the size of the other one. It has this big slide in the middle of it that the kids can climb up and slide down from. God, I hope it will fit in the backyard. I also paid a little extra so that we can keep it all night. Beau wants to take sleeping bags out there and sleep in it tomorrow night.

I'm just trying to keep his mind happy and occupied. He's worried about terrorists and the war and my surgery. This way he'll be a busy little monkey with plenty of fun things to do.