March 25th, 2004

Chalkboard

Police Are On Their Way and Beau Having Adverse Reaction to New Meds

Hi Everybody, Thanks as always for your never ending kindness and support. I can never repay you or thank you enough other than to say it means so much to me and carries me through my daily life, through both the good times and the challenging.

Yesterday was tough and today promises to be equally challenging, or perhaps depending on the circumstances, how things turn out, it might be a little easier than yesterday but whatever the case I am and will remain exhausted for a little while to come.

The detectives will be arriving around ten this morning to listen in and record the phone call from my friend the extortionist, if he chooses to call. All of my phone lines have been tapped since I reported the incident to the police, which is a weird feeling, knowing that all of my calls are being monitored in some way. When I pick up the phone to dial out it makes a kind of stuttering clicking sound that lets me know things are not functioning here as they usually do.

I don't know why this would affect our DSL lines as well, but it does and I keep getting signed off, which is just one of the many reasons why it is hard to write back to all of you to answer your questions and thank you personally. I've never been able to do this adequately in any case because when I get so many kind responses, while it is so helpful and makes me feel wonderful, it's really hard to write back to each of you individually as these kinds of things usually come when I'm in the midst of some crisis, or super busy period in my life, and I have to put my son, my family, and our animal companions first. Handling just the basics of my life is often more than I can handle and then time passes and I have to move on. Please let me say again how very grateful I am to all of you for your unwavering support. I read each and every one of your responses and am sending my love back to you as I read them.

Given what I've learned about my suddenly ex-housekeeper/assistant/wanted-her-to-be-my-pal, I don't think Mr. I Work for the Department of Animal Regulations, NOT, will be making that promised call. Either way they're screwed. If it is someone connected in some way with Eunice, (they will know by now that the police are involved and will high themselves as far away from me as possible) and I don't receive the call, we'll know why; because she warned him in some way. If he does place the call, the police will be monitoring it, tracing and recording it and go after him. Either way, I feel relieved and at the same time a bit apprehensive. If he does call, I am to say I have the money and set up a sting. This feels really risky and scary, like something out of an episode of Law and Order and I am getting advice from both sides. "Go get that bad guy and stop him from being able to do this to someone else," and "Oh no Jacqui, don't get involved in this, these are dangerous people and you want to cut your losses and run ASAP." I'm leaning towards the former, wanting to help the police, and stop this person or persons from victimizing another kind hearted person like me.

It amazes me how kind I was to her and how far I was willing to go to help her. We threw her a birthday party within days of her beginning to work for us and after every screw up and slip up I patiently explained why her behavior had been harmful or hurtful in some way, forgave her for it, gave her another chance and moved on. We were well beyond the usual three chances and then you're out rule before we received this nasty phone call. Everything that has happened, everything I have learned about her, in adding this all up, putting all of our stories together, since her leaving, leads me to suspect her and make her my top candidate for having planned all of this from the beginning. How is it possible that someone can make themselves seem so wonderful and sweet and fly under my normally ultra super sensitive radar? I'm guessing it's because I'm so GD compassionate and forgiving, thank you very much Marymount, no seriously, thank you nevertheless.

I have to get going to take my little man to school here. He's missed two more days, which, given all of the problems he's been having in school lately, is pretty much the last thing he needed, but he was so frightened and hasn't been able to sleep at night, every sound startled him, so what could I do?

Beau's Father, my ex, called and left a message last night saying that he had called us six weeks ago and we hadn't called him back and that was unfair and yada yada yada. If I were Beau's I wouldn't be in a position where I just dropped in and out of his life like some buddy whenever it was convenient for me, leaving messages that weren't returned, and then not following up on this for six friggin' weeks. Argh!

Oh God, I have to leave all of this unfinished and unedited because I had to stop halfway through writing this --- I had wanted to share with you all about my Day in Laguna dividing and cleaning out the contents of Scott's deceased Dad's house but had to rush off to show our new housekeeper, (who at this point seems sweet but a little delicate for this kind of work,) how to take Beau to school. Then it took a while to get back, we're cleaning like mad women so the house will be sparkling before the police arrive -- it's okay, I'm just paranoid and extra careful when it comes to my animals, esp. after everything that's gone down recently -- and I was just going to rush up here, get dressed, (I'm still in my nightgown, haven't showered for two days, one of my kitties won't even let me type -- keeps pushing on my hands for attention, walking on the keyboard), finish this up and post it when the phone rang. Beau who has been diagnosed with ADD took his first medication for this today (Aderall) and is feeling really awful, sick to his stomach, dizzy and crying for no reason. He says he feels like he's on laughing gas. Off to get him and try to get back in time for the cops. Last night I had to rush our rat Pinky to the emergency hospital. It never ever ends. Fuck.
Chalkboard

A Whole Lot of Cops Were Here and Little Tea Tea Died Today

I'm so incredibly sleep deprived and overwhelmed by the events of the last few days that I don't even know if I'll have the energy to finish this entry or even make sense here. I'm watching Pimp My Ride. Don't ask me why but I love this show. I'm so tired I've been hallucinating, seriously, and I shouldn't have been driving, but I had to.

I've been getting so little sleep my eyes are crossing. As soon as I finish writing to you I'm going to collapse and then tomorrow I have to get up super early and go back to Laguna with my Scotty to continue to process of taking everything out of his Dad's house.

How come you guys are so concerned about my locking my entries? Do you think Eunice and her partner in crime can read my journal? I really don't think so, she had seriously limited skills in this area, but you never know. Even if they could read this, what would it tell them -- that "my house is hot with cops," and that they'd better not mess with us any further? I think that's a good thing don't you? Police and Animal Control wise there isn't anything here I have to hide at this point, it's all pretty much out in the open now, at least regarding my many pets. It's pretty hard to hide my big hairy dogs and, with cops coming and going all day, sitting here reading the newspaper and sharing stories with me on a long boring stakeout.

I've been sharing this story with my fellow cat lovers in some of the cat communities and if I locked it down to friend's only, they'd never be able to read the rest of the story. If there's any concern about my besmirching Eunice here, frankly, after everything she put me through, I'm not even sure she exists, or if this is even her name. I don't know who she was, certainly not the overly conciliatory woman who said, "God bless you Jacqui! God Bless you," so many times a day that I had to ask her to stop because it was making me, a lapsed Catholic, uncomfortable.

Beau is doing better, now that the medication has worn off, but he felt pretty rotten for most of the day.

The police showed up a little bit early and were already here sitting in my living room drinking Snapples by the time we got back from picking Beau up from school. They took this whole thing very seriously and I swear I felt like I was living an episode of Cops or Law and Order. It was so weird having these smart, intense, good looking men with guns in my house tossing phrases around like, "Frenchie thinks things could go sideways on this one so we're changing the staging area." There were three more detectives who spent the day at the nearby Starbucks waiting for instructions via some kind of big walkie talkie thing from the lead detectives at my house and still more waiting to back all of these guys up at the station. They went back and forth tossing numbers at eachother over the radio for most of the time that they were here.

The detectives hooked up their own telephone to my phone system and then connected a cheapo looking tape recorder to that. They coached me in what to say if the bad guy called. It was all so real and scary. I felt my heart surge forward every time the phone rang. They said, "Act normal, but be frightened." Then they laughed at themselves. They meant that just because I was surrounded by men with guns that I should act like they weren't here and was still worried about the hold this man had over me. They didn't have to worry; I was worried that there were men with guns and that this man might still call.

They told me to try to get the guy to stay on the phone as long as possible, to stall him with questions like, "How do I know you won't come back in a week or two and ask me for more money," and "How do I know you really do work for The Animal Regulations Dept.?". They wanted me to tell him I could get the ten thousand dollars but that I needed two hours to do it. They needed this time to get the money, have it photographed, and get more undercover cops to help bust the guy.

They had a wire they were going to make me wear and they wanted me to drive to wherever Mr. Take Advantage of Animal Loving Jacqui, wanted me to go, then I was supposed to show him the "flash" money and hope he took it, touched it or reached out for it, anything less and they wouldn't have a case. They told me to try to persuade him to allow me to come with someone else, then I could have one of the detectives in the car with me, but then later changed my mind. At first they wanted me to meet him somewhere where they would surround him and "take him down" as soon as he made a move for the money, then later they decided it would better if I suggested meeting him at the bank.

We waited four hours and he didn't call. This makes everyone that much more suspicious of Eunice. The cops just laughed at the idea of it being the sanitation worker. I have so much more I'd like to write to you and tell you about all of this but I am just too tired, my eyes keep rolling up in my head and I can't keep typing, no way.

Remind me to tell you about the cops my friends saw having sex in their black and white police cruiser and how my stupidly blabbing about this to the detectives during our long, scary, and boring wait for the bad guy to call, caused them to have to report this and go over to interview my very frightened friends. "Don't tell Jacqui Joon anything, she can not keep quiet." In their country, (Iran), you don't want to do anything to attract undue attention from the authorities, so naturally for them it seems doubly scary here. Great; I just love that I did this to my dear new friends.

Pinky, my naked rat, is very sick but still hanging in there. We're going to give him one more day on oxygen and antibiotics to see if there is any chance he might bounce back for us just this one more time. But Tea Tea, my beloved little midget cat, the kitty we nursed from birth had to be euthanized late this afternoon. I am so traumatized by all of this and there is so much more to say but I have to get up and help Scott tomorrow and I have to go to sleep.

I've learned so much through all of this but I am fried beyond belief.

Love you,
Jacqui

PS: What's a "cooler"? The cops used that word at one point when they were radioing back and forth with the back up guys.

PPS: I took so many calls from people on my cell phone today that I keep imagining that I am hearing it ringing. I am actually sick of the song Let It Be now.