May 9th, 2004


Bad Teeth, Vicodin and Popeye

You know what? I think I've just figured out the very simple truth behind the mysterious deaths of well, just a few of your average, everyday, famous folks like, oh let's just pick a few random famous people who OD'd like say Elvis Presley, Judy Garland, Marilyn Monroe, or Popeye.

Okay let's say they had a toothache, like I do right now, a very bad toothache from an abscessed tooth that needs to be pulled, yeah, so they took a Vicodin for the pain, and then a little while later they were still in pain so they might have taken another one, but then because they'd taken two they couldn't remember how many they'd taken so they might have taken another, and then maybe things just went downhill from there until they wound up taking way too many pain pills and that's how they wound up falling off their toilets or out of their beds or whatever... It's just a theory. Did Popeye really OD on canned spinach?

Just for the record I stopped after two -- pain pills -- but I was confused about whether I'd taken that second one, and I can see how easy it would be to take a third, and if you were drinking, (which I don't), and taking prescription pills for other things, you could easily have a serious problem on your hands. I like to keep tabs on these kinds of things, you know, just so I don't end up at some Wendy's somewhere flashing my breasts at strangers and letting some guy I've never even seen before, who really just wanted to get some chicken, suck on my nipples.

These things happen, (ask Courtney Love), maybe they start with a toothache. Bad teeth could be responsible for all kinds of super weird behavior like smacking people in the face with flying microphones or dying on the toilet. For all we know a toothache may have robbed us of The King.

This is another one of my Mother's dresses that I just bought on eBay, only this is the most I've ever paid for one of her dresses. Twenty-two bids, sigh, three-hundred-and-something-dollars, oh man. I've paid this much for my Grandmother's dresses before but never for one of Mom's, and the sad thing is, she'll be pissed off at me for spending this much. But this is the prettiest dress of hers I've been able to find and I just had to have it. I'm hating everyone who bid against me and forced the price up.

Sometimes when I'm feeling kind of out of it and lonely I wish I could marry my cats. If it weren't for the peeing, the random barfing, the catboxes and their claws, they'd make the perfect mate.

Oh and Happy Mother's Day everyone!


PS: Pinky is in the hospital again with pneumonia, poor Pinky rat, my fuzzy little friend. Send prayers?