May 12th, 2004


Sorry About That

Oh My God you guys, I am so sorry! I had no idea that picture was so large. I saw it on a website and it was just this normal, little picture -- the same size as the one that I used at the top of my last journal entry. I don't know why it came up as this ginormous kitty picture, wow.

I would never have put a picture of that size up on purpose. I may be stubborn and selfish at times but never this bad. I know pictures this large wreak havoc with people's friend's pages to say nothing of what it would do to anyone with a slow loading browser. Honestly, I'm so sorry.

I've been busy all day with Beau and his birthday doings -- I'm just trying to hang in here with this huge abscess on the gum above my tooth -- I'm taking really aggressive antibiotics and pain medication, rinsing with salt water, hydrogen peroxide and using clove oil. I just limped through my motherly obligations today when all I wanted to do was sleep off this pain, and this is the first time I checked in since I posted this last night.

I hope people didn't yank me off their friend's lists because of this. Man, this is seriously the biggest picture I've ever seen anyone post on Live Journal, lol, sheesh. *Much smacking of my head.*

I feel fairly accomplished as far as Beau's birthday is concerned. I was able to find plenty of unique, fun things to give him that made him feel loved up and special. Esther's son Eduardo bought him a really cool replica sword, just the kind of thing Beau would love. There are actually two swords that fit together in this one hilt that splits open in the middle and has skulls on the ends of it. He loved it.

Atra and her lovely family gave Beau so many wonderful things. They took the time to go to Hot Topic, (I never know how to spell this), and buy tee-shirts and gift cards for him. I didn't even want to go there, it's such a hassle, the parking and the schlep to the store, I'm so moved that they would do this for Beau. Arta bought Beau two computer games that Beau is excited about and a sound card and program that looks good but we don't quite understand how to use it so we're going to get my pal Ron to take a look at it. It was just so nice of them and it made us both feel so cared for. I'm so lucky to have them.

Scott stopped by a trading card store after work and bought Beau a few packs of Yugio cards and then he met us in Century City where we went to see Envy. Beau and Scott have been having some conflict because Beau will do something selfish and when Scott tries to get involved and talk to him about his behavior Beau gets stubborn and just shuts down completely. He is having trouble expressing his feelings to Scott, he won't even try to open up and trust Scott. This is hurting Scott's feelings and while I'm guessing this may just be the result of a kind of natural hormonal teenage thing, I don't think Scott thinks this, he takes it very personally, and I can understand how much it would hurt. Then tonight we were late getting to Century City and Scott was upset and this was a sad and upsetting way to wrap up Beau's birthday. I hate feeling stuck in the middle because I love both of them and want them both to be happy and loving towards each other and then sometimes they both drive me up a wall. I did everything I could to make today a good day for everyone, not just Beau, and it required so much effort and organizing and all of this while I had this draining sore in my mouth that was throbbing and sending spiky pain signals up into my brain. I'm just proud of myself for making it through this day. I know I worked really hard and did my best to make everyone feel taken care of, even if no one else thinks this.

I'd better get to sleep if I have any hope of healing and catching up on my serious sleep deficit.

Again, sorry for the enormous image.

Big loving hugs,

PS: We're ramping up to another Burning Man. I really hope I can save enough money and get ourselves out there this year. Here's a link to this year's theme, vault of heaven.