October 20th, 2004

Chalkboard

Paris Hilton's New Book



Oh I am so sorry. I just had to do it, I actually bought this book. It's just too bubble-gum, pink fun to pass up on.

Some choice quotes;

"Never ever wake up before ten; Never go to bed before three. Normal hours are for normal people. You never want to be normal. Anyone can be normal. how boring. I'm yawning."

"Always tell everyone what they want to hear. Then do what you want. That way no one ever gets mad at you. They get very confused and then blame it on themselves. If anyone confronts you, smile sweetly and act coyly, particularly with guys and bosses. Try not to have bosses if you can avoid them. Or have your manager deal with them."

"It doesn't hurt to act rich as well as hot. I've found it to be a fairly unbeatable combination. Who's a guy going to go for: a girl who's gorgeous, or a girl who's gorgeous and rich?...It's all about being hard to get. No one would want caviar if it was cheap."

"I never knew sausage was made out of slimy pig intestines. They look like condoms, and you have to push the meat through to make sausage. I swear I'll never eat sausage again. Even at the Ivy. okay, maybe at the Ivy."

"It's never a bad idea to have a good back up guy waiting in the wings, just in case. Always have a list of good backup guys in your head, and when you spot one of them -- even if you're with your boyfriend -- smile at him with a look of, 'Who knows? You could be next.' He'll get it. Just don't get caught. And if you do, deny it. Heiresses are very good liars when they have to be."

"Once you break up with a guy, it's a good idea to torture him -- if you're bored...If you torture them, they'll have a much worse time getting over you. And that's what you want. An heiress has to be memorable."

Here is my list of sappy, silly things every real girl should be able to do if she feels like it. And often.

*Throw a fit, throw things, cry -- loud. Have a meltdown whenever you feel like it. whimper and whine on a whim.
*Change your mood like you change your clothes. Or even more often.
*Change your boyfriend as often as your mood.
*Let your parents take care of you.
*Wear pink and ballerina stuff to the point of overkill.
*Keep stuffed animals all over your room, and carry them wherever.
*Talk on the phone wherever and whenever you feel like it.
*Cover your cellphone in rhinestones.
*Keep a diary of everything a guy you like does.

"Never have only one cell phone when you can have many. Lose one all the time. That way, if you haven't called someone back you can blame it on the lost phone."

"FEAR NOTHING -- except insects. And sweaty guys who insist on kissing you when they come up to say hello. There's nothing worse than a sweaty guy who kisses you on both cheeks. Once is bad enough, but to have to go through it twice is really two times too much."

I just know Scott is reading this and finding parallels, stop that.
Chalkboard

(no subject)

Oh just look at the cute website I found, while looking for our local Stitch 'N Bitch group. She knits, she started a book club and she has cats. You've gotta see her cats, they're fat, yum fat cats -- me love fat cats.

By sheer bizarre coincidence it turns out that the closest Stitch 'N Bitch group in my area meets at The Talking Stick. If you go to The Talking Stick page and scan down a ways, to say oh around NOVEMBER 6, you'll see why I was kind of amazed. Knitting and Boyfriend, who woulda thunk it? If you've ever wanted to stalk us, ahem, meet us, or hear Scott play, this would be the time to do it ; )

I have spent the weirdest day here on my bed hiding out. My poor sweet little Beau man has a cold/flu thing and feels rotten, I don't have an excuse but we both spent the day at home laying around and taking vitamins. He didn't have to go to school because his relatively ooey gooey cool alternative school have given all the kids three days off so that they can come in for a scheduled half hour on one of these three days to present their goals for the year. You know it sounds great, but as much as I love having Beau around for three days, it's kind of a big BS thing where a lot of the kids are just making up crap to please their teachers and meet this goal setting thing that they couldn't care less about. They won't let Beau put down the goals he really has because they're too simple, but so what, if he wants to work on improving his reading speed, comprehension, writing, spelling and punctuation, then let him. I'm all for this, basics, basics, basics! Why make him come up with complicated goals that he couldn't care less about? Argh!

I went to see Carnie Wilson speak last night and hardly anyone turned out. I swear there weren't more than a dozen people there so we all got to talk pretty intimately with her. She signed copies of her book and took pictures with us, so gracious and generous. I'm working on an entry and will post our picture soon. She was terrific, sweet, funny, earthy, pregnant, I'm so glad I went.

Off to watch The West Wing -- I love The West Wing, but not as much as I love Scott or his new Jacuzzi ; )I went to see Carnie Wilson speak last night and hardly anyone turned out. I swear there weren't more than a dozen people there so we all got to talk pretty intimately with her. She signed copies of her book and took pictures with us, so gracious and generous. I'm working on an entry and will post our picture soon. She was terrific, sweet, funny, earthy, pregnant, I'm so glad I went.

Off to watch The West Wing -- I love The West Wing, but not as much as I love Scott or his new Jacuzzi ; )

Oh and I finally did this meme, but what does this mean? I don't have any interests in common with anyone, or I don't have any interests that are either, universal, popular, common, specialist, unusual, or rare?
How common are __jacqui's interests
Universal
none
Popular
none
Common
none
Specialist
none
Unusual
none
Rare
none

Enter username:

InterestRank was bought to you by _imran_ and MemeLand.org


Whoops, my friend Colubra noticed the underscore in front of my name and pointed this out to me, *forehead slapping doh*. Okay here comes the updated version. I'm kind of excited that there are other people here who dog nudibranchs and nuns.

How common are jacqui's interests
Universal
art (250816)
books (188145)
cats (130712)
guitar (110987)
love (204364)
movies (542991)
music (824587)
photography (231957)
poetry (198561)
reading (354148)
sex (164309)
singing (196689)
stars (115449)
swimming (170247)
writing (352319)
Popular
acting (83964)
candles (73357)
dogs (77041)
dreams (63464)
family (62017)
history (63093)
kissing (88041)
psychology (64113)
sleep (74720)
travel (50565)
water (62383)
Common
angels (22370)
animal rights (13433)
astrology (32541)
astronomy (25003)
birds (10297)
blues (12566)
bubbles (13987)
california (29025)
children (14127)
clouds (19660)
comedy (40145)
crayons (10018)
creativity (27182)
depression (24634)
design (17655)
dolphins (11105)
ebay (14964)
fairies (20984)
film (26246)
fish (12639)
flowers (42758)
gardening (15644)
ghosts (18136)
glitter (38285)
hair dye (26246)
happiness (25923)
hawaii (11984)
insanity (12814)
ireland (24947)
italy (18807)
japan (41213)
journalism (14149)
laughter (17365)
learning (27182)
lightning (14243)
london (23511)
mexican food (14205)
monkeys (24476)
moon (14132)
night (30616)
ocean (19227)
paris (15447)
passion (17054)
pets (10695)
rainbows (25448)
roses (30177)
spirituality (19466)
tarot (17708)
theater (25881)
theatre (47011)
thunder (11092)
truth (16363)
web design (31357)
Specialist
absinthe (5801)
add (1353)
adoption (1536)
antiques (7088)
bats (7109)
breasts (5783)
burning man (1594)
buttons (6665)
china (5248)
collage (2545)
collecting (2434)
compassion (5114)
cotton candy (5237)
digital photography (8189)
directing (5198)
dragonflies (2636)
education (9292)
empathy (3853)
ferrets (6650)
film making (2453)
fog (3923)
forests (8838)
giraffes (3734)
harmony (2389)
improv (4475)
indie films (6850)
kindness (4095)
los angeles (7772)
mermaids (5805)
mexico (7170)
mystery (6817)
new orleans (8163)
nudity (9727)
oranges (5443)
orchids (3711)
performance art (1917)
postcards (4701)
pregnancy (2715)
presents (6224)
rabbits (5600)
rats (7871)
reality tv (4907)
reincarnation (3853)
scuba diving (6209)
sea (3576)
squirrels (5627)
supernatural (5207)
vegetarian (8228)
vintage clothing (6485)
waterfalls (7094)
weather (3622)
web cams (1150)
Unusual
anti-circumcision (134)
anti-vivisection (191)
art bell (756)
catholic school (121)
china town (327)
chinoiserie (28)
fibromyalgia (685)
interstitial cystitis (46)
mothering (515)
nudibranchs (59)
nuns (888)
pcos (597)
secret gardens (189)
spelunking (534)
tornados (986)
underwater photography (75)
weight loss surgery (134)
Rare
r&y (1)

Enter username:

InterestRank was bought to you by _imran_ and MemeLand.org


And would someone please explain to me why anyone would agree to go on Wife Swap, or that cleaning show with the two little British sweetiepies who go around your house with gloves and point out the most digusting filthy things they can find? You couldn't pay me enough money to make me do this and yet I bet they have applications piled to the ceiling... Oh great one of the nasty little teenagers on Wife Swap just said, "I just hope she's not fat!" Ignorant, little monster. Someone slap her for me will you?