October 20th, 2005


Howard Stern, Naked Raeliens, and Beau's Grades

10-15-05 Saturday

Oh shoot, I forgot that the Raeliens, (who I have to admit I think are all pretty nutty), were going to do a weird peace protest strip thing at the Federal Building today that Beau and I wanted to go watch. Hey, anything that combines nudity and peace, and you can, "Count me in baby I am there!", or at least I'd want to be if I were feeling better.

I think it was the night before last that I was listening to Howard Stern when he was interviewing one of these women, a French Canadian, or pardon me, Alien woman, I think. She was fighting hard to get attention for her peace cause while Howard was trying to keep the focus on the stripping part. I think it was a pretty even trade, she had to have known what she was getting into by going on his show, and it was really funny in a terribly sexist Howard Sternish kind of way. I always have to preface anything I write about Howard by saying that even though I feel as if I shouldn't be listening, there's just something so adolescent and naughty-funny about the whole thing that I can't help but listen in, even though I disagree with so much of what he says and does, and of course as so many of friends would agree, Robin, is his saving grace, or partner in crime, however you want to see it.

Anyway she was trying to explain the meaning behind the protest and wanted to outline her planned peace program while Howard kept bringing it back to the stripping, saying things like, "Look baby, we just want to know what time you'll be taking your clothes off," and "Seminar shmeminar, my guys just wanna see you naked." She was really a good sport about it and obviously knew he was going to keep redirecting her back to the sex angle, (I think you all know me enough by now to know that I think nudity and sex do not have to have anything to do with each other at all, and that if I could I would pretty much go everywhere naked, unless it was cold, so I can clearly see that the nude aspect of her protest is all about drawing attention to her cause, or making some kind of statement about aliens and birth, I'm not sure, I'll have to look into it further), and it was so funny because Howard would just keep hammering away at her with his questions; "What will you be wearing?" "White robes." "White robes. I can live with that. Will you have anything on underneath, or will you be naked?" "I will be wearing my underwear and a bra." "What color will your bra and panties be?" "I don't know Howard, I don't plan these things out in advance." "When you take off your clothes will you remove your bra first or your panties? Because if you wanna take my advice, I suggest taking the bra off first and leaving the good bit, the removal of the panties, for last. I think that would be hotter." "But Howard this is not about drawing attention to the sexual aspect of being naked, this about peace and..." "Will you be wearing footwear? Heels? "I don't know, yes, I suppose we will be wearing shoes." "Good, that's hot, I like naked chicks in heels." Howard, can I just say that there will be a conference..." Yeah, yeah, yeah, we know about the conference at four o'clock, we don't care about that we just want to see a bunch of crazy hippie chicks get naked. So guys, listen to this, forget all the stuff before hand, the gals will be taking it off at one. Bring your lawn chairs and beer and you should be in for a pretty good free show. Damn I wish I could be in LA for this."

You know what, it's not that late, maybe I'll grab Beau and run and see if we can see anything... Ahhhhh....no, maybe not, darn it. This is just the kind of wacky, last-minute, energy-sapping thing I like to force myself to do, the kind of thing that keeps me feeling rotten and tired when I should be moving slowly and focusing on the things that really need doing. Besides, the peace-seeking, lawbreaking, white-robe-removing, nudity Vs prude-uptight-citizens, cops and arrests part of this while thing probably already happened, if it happened at all. I can learn all I want to learn about the Raeliens right here from the comfort of my own messy overcrowded and super cluttered bedroom.

If I have any energy left at all at the end of this day I'm going to beg Scott to take me to that damned Jessica Alba scuba movie so I can at least pretend I'm still a certified diver who is happier underwater than anywhere else. But what I reallllly wish I had the energy to do would be to go to the Los Angeles Decompression party, darn it. There's still a little part of me that's holding on to the hope that at the last minute I might be able to persuade myself to throw on something weird and go.

Oh hell, I just found out that Beau's grade in biology is ranging somewhere between a C- and a C+. He's getting A's and B's in all of his other classes but he just really doesn't dig his biology teacher so I should have known that he was going to have a bit of trouble with this class. I've been talking to him about how important it is for him to really put a lot of effort into his grades, homework, and school this year, (Since now all of these grades count towards college admissions) and he's been telling me that he understands and is doing fine, etc., etc. Now, as usual, I've realized that I should have been going to school and talking to each of his teachers to keep on top of him.

God, I hate this. I hate our educational system. I hate the grading and testing, and Beau's school hates it too, but they've had to cave to the pressure from colleges. I think school should be about motivating people to love learning, and supporting and encouraging them to explore whatever interests them. I think kids should be taught the basic skills they will need to function in society like basic health and psychology, nutrition and exercise, getting along with others, volunteering and community building skills, relationships skills, parenting skills, survival skills, job interview techniques, how to pretend not to hate your boss, or better yet; hot to get a job earning money doing what you love and are passionate about, balancing your checkbook 101, and how to have sexual relationships in this day and age without breaking anyone's heart or getting yours broken. I don't think it should be about this giant competitive race to get into the best college by having the best grades, the most extracurricular activities, the best SAT scores, and the best essay. Crap...

Oh well, we can always do that, "It's just the first quarter of your Freshman year, they won't really count this as much as your Sophomore through Senior year," thing. Hey, at least I care about his grades, and what's even cooler is that he cares too. When he was telling some of the other kids at school today how upset he was when he found out that at this point he's getting a C+, these kids who are mostly older, and are all way more interested in sex and drugs and rock and roll, (are all my brain and body need -- sorry couldn't resist), than stupid school, and because of this are ditching classes, skipping school, getting detention, and probation, thought he was nuts for worrying. They said things like, "Hey Man, a C is passing, don't sweat it. At New Roads you can get a D and still pass. I'm seriously thinking about dropping out, taking the GED, and going to community college, this high school thing is bullshit." Yep, the joys of having to be a parent when all you really want to do is walk around naked and thumb your nose at the establishment.