October 27th, 2006


Fly Away

I took some pictures of our neighborhood flock of crows yesterday. I can never seem to get a really good shot of them but I keep trying. I keep my camera handy just in case. I also can't seem to make friends with them, but that's okay, it's probably not such a good idea for them to trust people, and I love them anyway. I just really crave a cuddle, I can't help it, I love these funny big black birds so much that like a little girl I keep thinking this is possible, that one day they will suddenly decide that I'm one of their friends and begin to let me touch and feed them like pigeons in a crowded square!

So I just happened to take these pictures and then today I listened to the new Indigo Girls CD, Despite Our Differences, and fell in love with this song. You have to hear it, it's so beautiful and moving. So this is for all of you, for the people I love, and for the people I will come to love, that one by one I will someday have to let go of;

"Fly Away"

Fly away little bird
Any place in this open mouthed world
Begs to be fed like a bed that beckons you, but you won't rest
Everyone's got a need to go
Most of us stick with our row to hoe
But not you, you're the black crow
With a straight line, and no time
For the birds of prey who wreck your nest
Twice your size steal your best
They set you on this course of your collision

I am a stop along your way
I am the words you'll never say
I crossed the great beyond of fear
I opened my eyes and saw us there, what a view
You went there too

Fly away little bird
Find the song in you that no one's heard
Strengthen your wings as you sing your solo flight
Through this short life
Everyone's got a deep regret
We try to ground ourselves to forget
But your race to the end is neck and neck
You love them, you love them not
The birds of prey who wreck your nest,
Twice your size steal your best
They set you on this course of your collision

I am a stop along your way
I am the words you'll never say
I crossed the great beyond of fear
Opened my eyes and saw us there, what a view
And you went there too

But all along your chosen path are
Window panes and sheets of glass
That you won't see
You fly too fast
One day it will be over

Fly away little bird
The saddest song I ever heard
Was the one I wrote you in my heart
That never made it to the world


Prayers For My Cat Mouse

Hi Everyone,

My cat Mouse isn't doing well tonight and I need to ask for your help please. I believe in the power of prayer and group mind. I'm hoping anyone reading this might kindly spare a moment, even while you're reading this you can do it, to say a little prayer, light a candle, do a positive visualization, meditate, send some Reiki, or anything you think might help my little friend get through the night and the next few days until he can build his weight back up and rehydrate his body.

Mouse is the little white and grey spotted Cornish Rex at the bottom of this picture. Beau and I got him years ago after my husband left and I picked up my son and ran away for a week or so to San Diego searching for some kind of solace or happiness. What we found was a cat show and these two wonderful Cornish kittens, (Mouse and his sister Leelu), and one elderly Siamese gal who needed a home. Unfortunately I have discovered that with some of these very rare breeds of kitties that there is a lot of inbreeding that goes on and because of this they are more prone to illness.

Mouse's sister Leelu passed away but Mouse has been fighting valiantly for a few years now. He has kidney disease, has lost a lot of his teeth, and we have to inject fluids from a bag, through a long tube and a needle, beneath his skin, every single day. He has had bladder troubles as well for as long as we've had him and lately they've been worse. He'll run from one spot to another and wee. He's been peeing on me, on my bed, and yesterday at the vet he just let go while I was holding him so I ran to this stainless steel sink and held him over it while he finished.

We went one or maybe two days without giving him fluids when we ran out because Esther didn't warn me that we were running out. He is totally dehydrated and looks like a fragile little cat skeleton. He's wobbly when he walks. But here is the thing about Mouse, and the reason why I think we might have a chance here, Mouse is a fighter. He has a tremendous will to live for such a tiny person. He has been down so many times before and every time I've taken him to the vet and checked him in thinking he wasn't going to be checking back out, at least not with us, he rebounded, and his doctors would always say things like, "Don't worry, it's Mouse, he always pulls out of it. He's going to live forever."

Yesterday we got 150 cc's of fluids into him and the same today. He's on Amoxycillin which is a good kitty antibiotic. He's been drinking and peeing but he doesn't have much of an appetite which is weird for him because he always wants to eat, especially string cheese, which isn't that good for him, but is his favorite food. Today we've tried offering him all kinds of things and he nibbled but mostly refused, so tonight I had to force feed him baby food. Ordinarily I would accept the fact that some cats are too inbred and maybe weren't meant to live a long life. If someone really wants to go I will let them go because maybe it is their time and I never want anyone to suffer. I could handle it better if it weren't Mouse and I didn't know that if I could just get a little more water into him and a little more, just a little more, weight on him then he would feel better and rebound. So that's why I'm asking for your prayers and positive thoughts, because I love this little guy and I so want him to live.

Thank you all so so much. Sorry I haven't been able to write back or catch up much. Between juggling all of my usual life stuff, and with the whole Halloween yard haunt to set up, with my car accident/freeway crash only a few months behind me, with my back and neck still hurting, and the dizziness (positional vertigo) still bothering me, it's been hard to spend as much time here as I'd like. You're all on my mind and in my heart. I'll be taking pictures soon and hopefully I'll have some Halloween stories to tell. Boooo.

Love you,