Well, I kind of slept the day away and then woke up with that upset, groggy midday kind of feeling I get when I take a nap. I think I'll make myself walk on my treadmill or shudder take a walk outside. Hey I know I could take one or all three of my dogs to the dog park. I just got my period, maybe I'm depressed. I always get DMS, During Menstrual Syndrome. I made that up a while ago but I'm sure someone will snag it damnit. I made everything up, yes, I made it all up! I did, I did!
Ya know I am always about ten zillion times happier when I am almost anywhere but here. I am trying to figure out if that's because Los Angeles is one hell of a filthy polluted place or the close proximity to my mother, the Madame Pelle bitch goddess of Bel air. I'll work on this. I know that I always feel better in Hawaii. That's not exactly a mysterious thing, I suppose everyone must feel better in Hawaii.
Feeling bleak today, hey maybe I should create a little period tracker mood chart that could correspond with moods I log in here. I have to get out of this room. I'm burned out on/bummed about my boyfriend. He's really complicated and frustrating. I love him a lot, he's a genius in many ways and can be so wonderful sometimes. But he's also way too sensitive and a lot of work sometimes. He's such a fucking contradiction, which I understand is typical for Geminis, one minute he wants closeness, sexuality, company, family and the next minute he wants to be alone smoking weed and watching TV. I just wish I could depend on him and that he wasn't so skittish socially, argh, it's really frustrating. Men, I'm hating every single one of them except for anyone on live journal right now, or anyone who reads this, or anyone whose feelings might be hurt by that. Okay basically I hate all men except for men who like me. Or men under the age of say twelve. Or men who are really good in bed. Or men who deliver things from Pink dot or men who like cats. No wait, I don't hate men, I hate my friends short little monster housekeeper who is sooooo selfish and lazy she gets in the way of our children's friendship by pretending not to be home when Beau goes over to Chris's house to play. She likes to drop him off here but doesn't ever want to deal with my son going over there. Monster creature. Really I swear I know I'm sounding unbelievably bourgeois and evil but I'm not. I love everybody usually especially anyone my mother might keep in her kitchen and ring for with a little silver bell but not this gal. My friend Esther calls her, ese chiquita pedaso de una mujer which basically means that little piece of a woman. Guess what her name is? Chiquita. Unhunh, yup I wouldn't lie. But I would like to kick her, just once, come on, can I please? Now I'm worrying that I've offended short people. See there just aren't enough pharmacological substances to ameliorate a mind as disturbed as mine. My neuroses are never ending. Just when I think I've got them all pegged I find another. Well, at least I'm in good company, Kim Basinger and I can hang out at her house playing with animals and making the occasional movie that would be just fine with me.
Okay I go now. I wonder if anyone ever reads these....
Oh wait I forgot I had these horrible dreams. In one I dreamt I was a whore who had to suck this guys cock endlessly or he would murder me. he was impotent and blaming me. In another I was running away from these killer Arabs and hiding in a movie theater with all kinds of other people, it was sooo weird. Did I tell you that we got a new bunny? She's black and cute.
Okay I really go now. I don't really hate men, in fact I love them, damnit.