Jacqui (jacqui) wrote,

Okay, I filled out the form for the bariatric surgeon (stomach stapling doctor) and faxed it back to them. I called today to see what the next step is. I spoke with the woman in charge of scheduling and she said they're just trying to weed out all of the people it would be completely innapropriate for, like women who only weigh about twenty five to fifty pounds more than they'd like to, or people who smoke. Apparently smoking is super risky for post surgical recovery. They had patients die who were smokers. Thankfully I don't smoke. Too many years as a child in a closed windowed car with my smoking Mother gave me an intense aversion to it. But what about people who do? They need help too. How scary.

I'm terrified but somehow I'm finding the courage to walk through this, to kind of hold my hand through each step, despite everyone I talk to being in terrible fear of it. My beloved math teacher from high school, Sister Kathleen, told me that if I did this she would be, "on my knees all day." I felt flattered that someone that good could care that much about me.

Oh and because of all of you I finally bought a DVD player, purchased Requiem for a Dream, and watched it with Scott last night. Now I know why everyone was raving about it. It wasn't an easy ride, but it's certainly a well made film. Very disturbing, perhpas because I can relate so well to it. Themes of addiction and prostitution resonate with me. Jennifer Connely is so beautiful, well everyone was. The scene where Marlon Wayans character is playing with the mirrors and sees himself as a little boy going to sit on his mother's lap was so moving.

Gotta go Monique is on the phone.

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