Jacqui (jacqui) wrote,

Cremation, (skip if sensitive) and My Bourgeois Problems With the Help.

This crematorium situation is so horrifying. I have a dear friend who worked for a lawyer who was representing families who were suing a funeral home over a similar situation several years ago so it isn't a totally unusual occurrence. This is such a dark subject but it really goes to the heart of my trust issues. It's costing me a lot of money to have my cats cremated, how do I know they aren't bogus, that they don't just give our pets to some rendering plant and give us some mixed up ashes? Horrible, horrible. I can't remember who it was, it may have been one of my dear Live Journal friends, but I remember someone saying their friend had gone to the crematorium to watch their loved one being cremated and the experience was really awful.

I haven't made up my mind whether I want my organs donated, or want to be buried or cremated. I want to do the right thing by helping people in need but the whole organ transplant thing is a tough subject for me, it involves supporting a branch of medicine that has been heavily involved in animal research and death, and there are the spiritual issues as well. I'm sure I must seem selfish and cruel for taking this into consideration, I so admire people who donate their organs, but I'm just having a hard time with it. A friend of mine once told me how the medical students at UCLA would make jokes about the bodies that had been donated to them for practice. I can't bear the idea of that. My smart-ass ex thought it was funny that on the back of his license he had specified donation of his hair and muscles. Cocky strutting preener that he was, that was his way of bragging about his great hair and muscles. Karmically all of his hair has fallen out and I don't know about the shape of his muscles these days. I just remembered it horrified me at the time because I loved him so much and I was worried that some nameless medical entity would show up and strip out his muscles and take his scalp.

Ooh I'm so late to pick up the kids from school. I have to go, I've been rushing around. Saida (my housekeeper/assistant) hasn't been showing too much and when she does she comes three to four hours late and leaves two hours early. She's having so many personal problems and I'm too kind to let her go right when she's having so many troubles, but I can't go on like this for much longer. Here comes a really long run on sentence. She didn't pay her rent, got a three day notice, I tried to negotiate with her landlord but he didn't care he just wanted her out, she got to live in her house for three months without paying rent, but waited till the last second to find a place to live, because she didn't want to settle for a one room apartment or a shared living situation, her car breaks down all the time, so she drives mine to pick up the kids when I need her too and then my car reeks of cheap powdery perfume and she never tells me that the gas is too low which is the reason why the car wouldn't start the night I had to take Beau to the emergency room, so we had to wait for the auto club to come and rescue us, she and her son both hawk up gobs of phlegm and spit them out on my driveway, so gross it gives me shivers, her son and his friend dropped Beau's gecko, severely wounding and paralyzing him from the middle of his body on down, we had to go to the emergency hospital to find out what was wrong with him and it cost $85.00, her son is constantly being sent home from school for asthma or not wanting to go to PE, he is always sick, he's very overweight, like the little boy in Monster's Ball, he eats all our food and drinks all of the sodas and I'm not certain I can trust that he doesn't steal, he broke a piece of furniture and lied about it, Saida wasn't even bothering to call before she would show up hours late, now she has her son call in sick the night before, half the time I don't think she understands me, and I speak fluent Spanish, she's a rotten cook, and when Tick was vomiting shortly before he died, she was laughing when she told me about it.

Okay that's some of the bad stuff, but my problem is that it's incredibly hard for me, with my various health issues, and all of these animals, to go any length of time without help, which is what I would have to do if I were to try to interview people and find someone better. Then there's my guilty Catholic conscience that says, this poor woman is losing her home, her son is sick, she's having problems, be forgiving and charitable, have a heart, give her a break, which is what I have been doing and will probably continue to do until I'm forced to do something else.

Off to pick up the kids, I'm already late to drop of Shayan whose Father will be furious with me for bringing him home after four which is his bizarre Middle Eastern "lunch time". Great, now I'm prejudiced too.

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