Jacqui (jacqui) wrote,

What a long weird day. My favorite part was when I was hanging out at the dog park and fighting with Scott, nah just kidding. I love fighting with Scott.
Heh, not. I've just felt itchy and angry and weird all day. If I had to give it a name I'd call it mild to moderate anxiety disorder compounded with social neuroticism.

There's a guy at the dog park who I just don't understand. I think he's kind and means well, because his demeanor is gentle, but I think he has some kind of mental handicap. He doesn't communicate in a way that is normal, it's so close to normal though that you think he'll respond in a way that you would expect, but it's always just a shade or ten off. He has this beautiful great dane, I'm crazy for great danes, and I really love his. Her name is Jezebel and she likes me. She likes to sneak over to wherever I am, and then we kiss and kiss, but he doesn't like this for some reason. I just know that whenever we are being friendly, he'll walk over to us and lead her away. I'm not the only one he does this to, so it isn't me. It's just so weird and sad, he's lucky to have such a wonderful dog.

Spooky, (Alla's sweet black kitty), has snuck in to the office with me and is sniffing around the ratties and upsetting the ferrets. Chinchie is pretty upset about it too. I love her cute little hands. Chinchilla's are so so cute, you know you wish you had one ; )

I'm trying to catch up on some of my friend's journals, but it's so hard, I want to do everyone justice and stay for ever, and respond to everything, but there just isn't ever enough time, sigh.

I miss Scott, I hate the rhythm of our relationship. I want it to be more normal and smooth. We'll get close and spend a bit of time together and then he's gone again. I wonder if this is part of why my sexuality has been so shut down. It's hard to open up and be close and vulnerable and then not be able to be near him for a day or two. He lives there and I live here, and he works so much and has so little energy left to be with us. I know he gives me everything he can but I just get so lonely. It'll be fine, we've managed it for all of these years, I'm just off today, lonely, weird, angry, off. I have my period as well, and as I've said before I suffer from DMS, During Menstrual Syndrome.

I neeeeed to go to Ventura and wander around on the beach looking for sea glass, need, need, need. I also need a good night's sleep, and BTW how do people become addicted to Vicodin? I read somewhere that the reason Ozzy Osbourne mumbles so much is that "he is wasted," this according to Sharon, his wife. She said that he's addicted to Vicodin, but how does he get so much of it? I looove Vicodin, so I completely understand how easy it would be to get hooked on it, but what doctor would give out that many refills that you could become addicted?

This is so funny I just had to share it with you. Naked women and a donkey, I don't know, it just makes me laugh.

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