Jacqui (jacqui) wrote,

My Nude Bar

As some of my pals here know by now, I get my income, the money that allows me to sit on my pretty bottom all day and play with you, from the rent I get from a piece of industrial property in Palm Springs that I inherited from my Grandmother. Now it so happens that the tenant of this property is running a nude bar in it. The only nude bar in the entire Coachella Valley. We can thank my Grandmother and my Mother for this. I had to call him today to remind him that he is behind in his rent, and that as usual, his rent increase happened in April and he hadn't paid it. I can always count on him to first complain about his health, complain about the money, and then rave about his business. Sometimes he talks about "the goddamned girls." "They fucking take drugs I'll kick 'em out on their cans. I don't put up with none of that shit in here." He once had a stripper who didn't have any teeth. Guys liked her, go figure.

Picture a crusty, old, salty-sea-dog of a guy, with a whole lot of gold chains and a mouth to match, and you'd get Art. Despite some fear and a few trust issues, I kinda like the guy. Today he said, "Awwww fuck honey, my kidneys are all fucked to hell. Been drinkin' too many damned beers, gotta cut that shit out. Oh Jesus Fuckin Christ ya got me at a bad time here, I got the money in the trunk and the gun out. It's kinda lonely here on Sundays. When was the last time I talked to you? Did ya hear Barbara (his wife or girlfriend) had open heart surgery? Four way fucking bypass she had. Listen I can't think right now, can ya call me later tonight and give me the figures? Great sweetheart, thanks." This is the one property that I inherited, that my very conservative, upstanding, Catholic Mother gave me outright, for me to control. The other two are in a really bad part of town, one used to be a pawn shop, the other one had some sort of voodoo witch doctor cult thing going on in it before we kicked them out. Complaints from the neighbors, screams and slaughtering of chickens, you know, that sort of thing. Can anyone see the irony here?

  • Post a new comment


    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded