Jacqui (jacqui) wrote,

Just got home from Palm Springs. I haven't had a chance to check any of my Live Journal kindnesses because my laptop wouldn't work without it's cord. Rrrrrrr. We bought one at Best Buys and it burned out. I had just enough time to talk to the seller of the lamp I accidentally bought. I wound up having to buy it for $2,500.00, the reserve, as opposed to the six thousand and something I might have had to pay.

It really and truly sucks that I have to spend this much money right now when I need it so badly, but maybe I'll get it back, they've offered to try to resell it in a month. I had to do right by the sellers, they're my neighbors and my not buying it would have cost them a very important business relationship. They had been selling the lamp on consignment for a lady who holds local estate sales. I've been going to her estate sales for years, I've bought tons of things from her and she knows me really well. What a bizarre set of circumstances, what a completely weird accident to have happen, when all I meant to do was to send a kindly message to a friend. I feel so badly about all of this. They might have been able to make more money and my ending this auction early stopped any chance of that. I just don't know how I could have done something so dumb, I'm still truly baffled about this. All I can think is that I must have been in deep emotional shock over having learned that my Mother has cancer. I remember the moment when I clicked on the Buy It Now button instead of the button that would allow me to write and e-mail to them, and that's all I remember, I don't remember a second button to confirm the purchase, nothing. Just one click and then, Congratulations you've just spent six thousand dollars, your purchase is a binding contract, bla bla bla.

On the Mom cancer front, I called and spoke with her doctor and felt incredibly relieved after he filled me in. Maybe this is some kind of mechanical blind denial that people go through. One doctor tells you that everything should be fine, that "if you had to get cancer this would be the kind to have" and you buy it completely and go with that. He said that it's a teenie tiny tumor that the surgeon might be able to remove laparascopically. He said that it wasn't anything so dangerous that it couldn't wait one month so that Mom could take this trip. The surgeon wouldn't even be able to see her until the 29th of July anyway, and she was planning on coming back the second, so it's just a few days more. I just feel so shook up and worried, and helpless and scared, then I remember to try to surrender and turn it over. All I can do is make sure she's seeing the best doctor for this type of cancer, and once she has a better diagnosis, I'll do all the research I can.

In two days I'll be on a plane bound for Maui with Beau, Mom, and her icky housekeeper Rosa. Rosa was crying when Mom told me about her tumor and it was really hard for me to believe that she was crying for anything more than a lost trip to Hawaii and the potential loss of future employment. She is probably one of the sneakiest least trustworthy people I've ever met. I am only nice to her because my Mother depends on her so much and refuses to allow anyone to elucidate her as to the true nature of her housekeeper helper beast.

I'm nervous about getting everything squared away before we leave, it's so soon. I'm not entirely confident of our new housekeeper/helper. I have money issues to work out. I need to make sure the phones are working, they've been acting up, the bills are all paid, there is some food in the house, the animals are all safe and well. I have to pack and be certain to get everything we need to take with us. I have to make sure I've paid everyone I owe money to on eBay, and I'm incredibly disorganized about that, and I have to touch base with Sunday, the editor for Mary Engelbreit's magazine because they are going to come photograph my dining room and living room while we're gone. Ack ack and more ack, so much to do, so much to worry over. No worry, worry baaaad. I think I'm just needing sex, will someone tell my boyfriend this?


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