Today we are arguing about how much money we need to leave behind for the housekeepers while we are in Hawaii. Please know that I am super mindful of not causing her any stress or grief that could adversely affect her health. *Ringing Phone* It's Mom, she's calling me back to ask me what the initials of The Humane Society of the Unites States are, so she can change her damned will and leave a big chunk of it to them, if we should all go down in a fiery blast of hot airplane hell. Bummer for Rosa, guess all that scheming hasn't amounted to much, yeah and a big bummer for Mom's friend Jani, who I'm sure would like a piece of the money pie.
I know I'm not sounding sympathetic but it just seems so damned insane to leave everything to HSUS who I think are crap, considering that in all the years they've been present on film sets, and there are always two "officers" present on every union film, they have never once, not once, lodged a complaint against any studio or producer. Odd, don't you think, that they just happen to take their smoking breaks at the moment when iffy things are happening to animal actors? Better to leave it to PETA, or better yet give it to living beings that she knows, whose lives would be immeasurably improved by it. I've got a household full of dependant beings who could sure use some help, to say nothing of my faithful companion of ten years time. How about putting Esther's kids Eduardo and Andrea through college?
In case Beau and I were to both die at the same time, I've left everything I own to Scott. I think it would be a huge pain in the ass for him to have to sort through all of my things and try to figure out what to do with it all. I want Esther to have my clothes and my friend Susan to have whatever she might like. And then there are the cats to consider. I asked my Mom to please leave my house, at least, to Scott so he could move in here and sort things out and she said, "Darling your house is worth a XXXX dollars, I'm certainly not going to give that to Scott! You leave what you have to him, that's certainly more than he would see in his lifetime." Isn't that horrible? She'd rather leave my house to some vast over funded animal charity than to the man who has been my loving companion for a decade? It makes me burn, money is hell, that's why I'm feeling so angry and hot right now. Fuck it, it's just money and it's just stuff and I hate getting sucked in to this every time we get on a damned plane.
It may sound easy, (my life,) and I may seem like the luckiest gal in the world, because I have a few nice things, and at this point in my life I'm able to squeak by without having to work a traditional nine to five, or eight to seven-thirty job, like I did for many many years. But you have to take all of the stress and craziness that goes along with it. Wanna be super overweight and hopelessly disorganized? Wanna see all of your dreams dangled in front of you for years and years without being able to reach out and make them real? It's not worth it, believe me. Obviously if I were able to save money and not squander it away on all the stupid things I like to buy like magazines, flowers, gifts for friends, and eBay, oh Lord eBay, I'd be in a much better position. And then there is the mountain of money I pay out to helper friends. At least my money is bleeding out to living beings and not some faceless charity so some corporate executive can spend it on post it's and roller ball pens. Blah, ignore this message, I'll be fine soon, money, it just gets me all stirred up.