Scott just signed on, I can see his name on my Buddy List, but he won't answer my IMs, this makes me super sad and confused. It's so hard being away from him for this long, plus Hawaii is pretty much the land of romance, couples strolling on the beach at sunset, people throwing love making shadows on the shoji screens of their rooms, the tiki torches, the live music, and the moonlight on the water. There's even a large adults only spa called the Hanki Panki Pool.
Okay I'm just going to assume he's on another planet and someone else signed on for him and he doesn't know I'm trying to talk to him. I'm going to close this damned Buddy Window though so I won't have to look at his cruel screen name any longer. I miss my man, it sucks being here while he is there, blah.
Beau and I went frog hunting again tonight. We catch them, kiss them, and release them. It's fun. We also try to catch the geckos but they are too fast for us. There are also some wild kittens around and we bought some food for them just in case they come anywhere near us. In the daytime we like to sit on our patio out front and feed the birds. There are some beautiful bright red cardinals, love birds of some kind with cute little beaks, doves and these Hawaii birds, ii ii or eewee something, and little back yard birds. They are so used to being fed they come right up to us.
We went to Kapalua again today. Beau and Rosa rented a kayak and I snorkeled beside them. Then we turned in the two man kayak and I taught Rosa how to snorkel while Beau went out again by himself in a smaller one. The water was wonderful, there were so many people and I got to see my new favorite fish again, the little black damsel fish. They were definitely trying to communicate with me by making this little chiggering sound. I took my snorkel out of my mouth and made the same sound back at them and they all looked kind of surprised and swam around me, sooo cute. Rosa kept talking about wanting to spear one of the bigger fish and take it home to my Mom for dinner. I pointed out a beautiful cowrie shell to her and she just pried it off the coral head and wanted to take it home. Luckily I was able to convince her to put it back. She really doesn't get it, she thinks coral are flowers.
Yesterday we went swimming at the nearby Hyatt in Kaanapali, They have one of these mega pools that most of the big hotels have around here. They all have the same combination of elements, big interconnected pools, waterfalls you can swim under, caves, grottos, secret hidden nooks for kissing, tunnels and pool slides for the kids. Our hotel's little zigzaggy sixties groovapool looks so pathetic and poor by comparison, but I don't really care because this place is so sweet and communal, old Hawaii style, no buildings over two stories tall, and you don't have to walk miles and miles of shop lined corridors to get to your room. The bay is incredible and literally just steps outside my front door. I just have to get up and walk across a small lawn, a few steps across a white sand beach and I'm there.
Mom has been behaving soooo much better since she started taking her Klonopin and getting sleep again, she isn't as worried, nervous, freaked out and bossy. She's even been laughing and having what seems like a semi-good time with us. I've brought our video camera and am taping her a lot, asking her to tell stories, I think I'm thinking about trying to hang on to my memories, worried about her leaving. She's been talking about dying for soooo long, and with lung cancer surgery pending, it seems prudent to prepare for the possibility of her leaving.
I talked to Scott, however briefly, I was clingy and needy and he didn't get it at all. I just wanted him to say something loving, something masculine, romantic, and sustaining, but he was too tired, and left me with a lame, "what do you want me to say, not a good time to talk, too tired, call me at work ok?" Sometimes I wish we gals would all get together and write up the ideal handbook for men so they could clue in. I could just tell him to turn to page thirteen, the one that has the, tide you over until you can be together, phrases on it, then he could just copy one of those to me and I'd feel better.
Honey I'm dying here without you.
Baby I miss you sooo badly.
I am so in love with you.
I had a dream about you last night and you were so beautiful.
Oh God I want you here in my arms right now.
I can't wait to be with you, I want you so much.
Shit, phone it in if you have to. I'm a gal, I need a little mush now and then. I even sent him a coconut, what's a gal gotta do?