Hello My Darling Live Journal Friends,
It seems so pathetic to be talking about my mundane daily doings when the news is full of people being shot to death. I'm on the phone with my Mom, I heard something on the radio about a shooting, so I called and asked if she'd heard anything. I still don't really know what's happened, I'll have to turn on the TV and see, I just dread it though, because I get so sad and sucked in and then I become this immobilized television news junkie. If that evil fucked up bastard did shoot someone else that'll blow the whole, 9-11, (nine people killed out of eleven people shot), theory. What is going on with our world?
Mom heard me typing here and said, "Are you typing something? That Internet thing could be bad for you. You're addicted to that." It's funny and kind of a relief that most of the things she says these days don't twist me up inside the way they used to. I just find her kind of sweet and amusing and feel love for her. Wow, that's growth for me. Isn't that great? Hah, she just set the phone down and turned the volume up on the TV and forgot about me, my Mom, sheesh.
Today was start-decorating-the-haunted-Halloween-y
Irma's kids and Esther's kids and Beau and his sweet friend Jake were here. I am loving this kid Jake, God is he a doll, his parents really did something right there. I love having all of the kids here. It's just so much fun with everyone running around, squealing and laughing. Sometimes I feel like the luckiest person on the planet. I love my simple little domestic life. I still dream of a bigger life, but you know I really am pretty happy with this one.
I adopted two more cats from the shelter today. I only had the courage to tell Scott about one of them when I spoke to him on the phone. I hope I see him before he reads this. I've become so accustomed to being completely honest and naked with you here so I can't stop myself from blurting this out. One of the cats is this big white man with blue eyes and orange ears. I am already deeply in love with him. It's one of those things. The second I saw him I knew he was meant to be here with us. I just feel this deep solid expansive connection to him.
I feel so sorry for him because his owner's roommate just dropped him off at the shelter out of spite, because they'd had an argument and the man who had owned him moved out, leaving this wonderful cat behind. The guy who brought him in was trying to hand him off to anyone who would have him but by the time I saw him he had already been booked in and so he had to stay there for a week, poor, poor cat. Today was his release date so I got up early and rushed over to get him.
When I got to the shelter there was this terrified squirrel in a cage on the floor. It was absolutely panicked and had cut it's face open on both sides of it's little nose on the wire sides of the cage. It was so scared it was wildly flinging itself against the cage and ripping open it's skin. I was so upset. I asked them what they were doing to this poor squirrel and this man came over and said, "I trapped him and brought him in here. He was eating all of my figs." He acted like he was proud of himself. Big man trapping a poor little brown joy squirrel.
I could have killed the fucking guy. I looked at him and said, "What the hell do you think you're doing? Don't you know that they'll kill him. He's injured himself, now they can't release him." And he said, "So what, he was eating my fruit. Survival of the fittest." I glared at him and said, "Survival of a totally insensitive bastard you mean. How could you do something like this? Why didn't you just let him go in a park?" Then the guys said, "Look lady he was eating my figs and I didn't want him bothering me so I caught him and I brought him here and that's the way it goes." I swear it took everything in me to stop me from attacking him, I could have jumped on him and attacked his face, I mean it, I was so enraged, but I knew that if I lost it on this worthless piece of human shit that they'd never let me get this poor cat out, so I just glared at him with all of the hatred I could summon and said, "You'll get yours buddy, believe me, somewhere down the road someone will treat you with as little compassion as you've treated this innocent little being. You bastard, you will definitely get yours!" Then I walked away because there was nothing I could do.
I went in to the cat room and there was my buddy looking so depressed, with his beautiful white coat all matted and covered with fleas. So I grabbed his id card and took it to the front desk. When I got there I saw this woman struggling with surrendering her cat. I tried to ignore her but she looked right at me and said, "You're adopting a cat? Please take my cat, please, she's such a good cat, and look how pretty she is. Why don't you take her instead?" and then she burst out crying. She told me that she has to move and the landlord in her new place wants a three hundred dollar deposit and she's too poor to afford it. I offered to give her the three hundred dollars and then she said that she also would have to pay a little more rent so I asked her if I gave her five hundred dollars if that would allow her to keep her cat and she still wouldn't go for it, so I am now up two cats, this ladies very freaked out hissy cat Priscilla, and the nicest cat in the world with a few flea passengers.
Whoop gotta go. I'm talking to my sweet Scott whose feelings I've hurt.