Jacqui (jacqui) wrote,

Helping Irma and Her Kids, Halloween Decorating, and CatZilla the Monster With the Kitty Cat Head

This one's for Jen, anything with a horse is for Jen, heh. Oh these have been loooong days my friends, no time to write or check in, but at least I'm getting better, yeay, whoop whoopeeee. I have got to get on my e-mail before they round me up and throw me in the eBay hoosegow (how the heck do you spell that?) for failing to get back to people sooner than this, yikes. Oh and I still owe Amanda money for a skirt she may not have the time to make but I've got to pay her anyway, eeeek.

I've just been running around helping Irma with her kids and doing Halloween and Beau stuff. I'm winding up repeating a similar scenario to the one I got in with Coco a while back, only this time I've got four more kids here all the time instead of three. Irma's husband is a roaring drunk, which comes as no surprise because every housekeeper I've ever had has a scumbag louse for a husband. Ya know that wasn't exactly a compassionate thing to say about alcoholics, I don't mean to put them down, I know it's hard, but man is this one a jerk, just like Hugo, (Esther's husband), was before he found an overabundance of religion. It would have been so much better for everyone concerned if he'd gone to AA but hey, at least he isn't being a monstrous, and I do mean monstrous, drunk anymore.

Irma's gotten in trouble with social services because the poor kids talked about their parents fighting in school. To their credit the social workers have been trying to help by offering family counseling and individual therapy for the kids. They tried to help the family stay together be accepting Mr. Irma's promise of sobriety, but in light of the fact that he fails every blood test and swears and throws things at the social workers when they come by, its been decided that for the welfare of the children either he has to leave or Irma has to take the kids and live elsewhere. She has been looking everywhere for an apartment but rent is high and good affordable housing is hard to find. Today they told her she has until Friday to get out of their home because his name is on the lease, this even though she paid the rent.

Friday I took all of the kids to the local public school and fought to get them enrolled. Last night I filled out all of their paperwork and today I helped translate/field a phone call from little Jorge's first grade teacher because he's a willful little monkey and he did not want to be left at this new school, so he cried and pouted and refused to cooperate. Since the teacher didn't think it would be in anyone's interest for us to come and rescue him I asked her if it would be okay to bribe him and she said yes, so I promised to take him and all of his sisters to the toy store and let him pick out anything he wanted if he could just stick it out for two more hours.

I went with Irma to pick up all of her kids at one school, and then went to get Beau at his school, and then I took everyone to Toy's R Us. Beau picked out another game, (okay, well, actually he talked me in to two, sigh), Monica wanted a toddler McDonald's kitchen play set because she's been envying one of her little friend's ones for years, Jacky got a Susie Homemaker oven and an extra set of cakes, (I'm looking forward to the Lifesaver's Gummy Strawberry Cake), Jorge kept vacillating between wanting a remote controlled car and an electronic drum set, and ended up with the drums. I told Irma that we should each get something as well so she got herself a little set of bears and a stuffed polar bear for her oldest daughter Rosa who wasn't there and I got a Snow White tiara. It's so cute, it's red net and has lots of sequins scattered inside it. The only person who didn't get anything today was Scott, poor Scott.

Our two new cats are settling in but their personalities are like night and day. The fluffy white Balinese boy is charming, loving, smart, a floppy rag doll of a cat who will let pretty much anyone hold him, and wants to be near me or held constantly, and Priscilla is a scary monster cat, who wants to hunt us down and claw our eyes out. Every time I try to reach out towards her she hisses and swipes at my hands. She's bit Irma, and me and peed all over me. Last night she stalked us in the bathroom, hunching down and advancing towards us, (the white cat who was purring contentedly at me feet and me, and yes I was sitting on the toilet, hey, why not share this, I tell you everything else don't I?) while growl/spitting and taking swipes at the air. I was seriously afraid I'd have to jump over her to get out, but for some unknown crazy cat reason she turned around and drifted away.

Scott said we should get a mini cage thing with a mask like they have for Hannibal Lector that we can wheel her from room to room in. Jacky and Beau are calling her CatZilla and making up all kinds of jokes about a monster with a cat head. You have to see Beau do the roar to appreciate how funny this is, he sucks in all this air in this gasping monstery way and then goes, "Meow" in this tiny little cartoon voice. I want to write a children's book about this if someone hasn't done it already. Hey Jen, how about an animated show with CatZilla walking around and squashing buildings and things. We could even have a DogZilla or a HorseZilla if you like. BirdZilla, BeeZilla, LadybugZilla...

I know she's traumatized but I also think she's a wee bit psycho and I'm afraid of her. I've had cats like this before, cats who for whatever reason didn't get enough oxygen to the brain as kittens, who'll will be nice to you one minute and then flip out and go for your eyes the next. It isn't pretty. I don't know what I'm going to do, keep talking to her and reassuring her, and hope she can't read my mind.

Our spooky yard looks okay, but not as fab as I'd like it to look. We've got a couple of graveyards going, lots of orange lights, plenty o' hay, and a few dozen pumpkins, but there's much to be done yet.

Oh and Tara if you're reading this I blew it with your last e-mail. I saw it sitting there in my enormous pile of electronic communication and thought I'd open it the next day, then time just swooshed by like it usually does and now its buried. I was really looking forward to reading it. Do you have a copy that you could resend? If not I'll find it, I just didn't want you to think I was ignoring you.

The dogs are barking which reminds me that Irma found another mouse so we brought it in and have put it in a little cage, poor thing. We can't let it go here because it would be eaten by cats or poisoned by the neighbors. Although we've got that mousey curse thing going so I don't know what to do. Don't ask me about the mice Beau got, I just can't bear to tell you.

Okay well that's it for now my friends. I'm off to focus on the piles of e-mail that I'll never get through.

Love you,

PS: Oooooh yikes, spooky, scary Halloween ghost cam and Oija board.

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