We've all been crying. It's just so fucking sad. She developed an eye infection that we were treating. We were being super proactive about it, much warm water rinsing, and multiple daily applications of antibiotic ointments. But she's a difficult person, she's...traviesa, (I can't think of a good word in English right now, too bleary and tired), and she ruptured her eye with the long nails she wouldn't let us cut. At least that's what we think happened. Then I had to decide whether to put her through tissue grafting surgeries that wouldn't restore her site but might save her eye, or to remove the eye completely, which would look worse to us but be better for her. Obviously I opted for the latter. But I feel really shitty about it. I keep blaming myself, which is very me.
I know she'll be okay. Jake only has one eye and I've had blind cats before, but we just got her, and it all seems so unfair and cruel. I just don't understand why animals have to suffer so much. It makes me furious, with myself and with her previous caregiver for giving her away, but in the end I guess it's meant to be somehow. It looks like she'll be ours permanently now, and oddly enough, despite her having been one of the scariest, most difficult cats I've ever adopted, we've all fallen in love with her.
I'll try to take a picture of her for you tomorrow.
Big weary hugs for all of you,