Jacqui (jacqui) wrote,

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Oh man am i having a bad couple of days : ( Our little kitten Mini Mini Leona died. We loved her so much. She was four months old. She was a black sphynx and she was so sweet and special. She got pneumonia so suddenly but I'm blaming myself, long story. Then I finally, after so long and so much advice from all of you, fired Coco. It was so painful! Sorry to be so frigging depressing here. It's just so hard for me to make decisions like this. I miss her already. I don't know how to have people work for us and not become friends. But she lied to us so many times, and even though she helped me so much when she was here, she was also such a big energy drain and a pretty big taker. Oh God am I depressed. Sorry : ( I'm just frightened and overwhelmed, I can't run my home, with all these pets, and my little guy, all by myself. I'm pretty sure that sounds whiney and babyish but I have funky knees and am not the perkiest gal on the planet and I don't have a mate (that I live with) and I'm just so fucking lonely tonight. Fuck. Sorry.

You can't imagine how hard this decision was for me. Imagine someone who you've lived intimately for a year, who you know has lied and cheated you but who you feel sorry for because you think she just does these things out of accustomed desperation, someone who isn't the world's brightest person, someone you love, but who everyone in your life wants you to boot, begging you for her job, for just two more weeks to prove to you that she won't lie or be lazy anymore and knowing that if you give in you'll never be able to let her go. She said, (in Spanish) please Jacqui, for my children, open your heart, your heart, your heart, please, please. I am so devastated, I want to throw up. I hate myself. Now I'm putting my son to bed way too late so he's going to be even more tired than he was today tommorrow and my boyfriend told me to take a walk. Life sucks.

Love you,

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