Jacqui (jacqui) wrote,

Maybe Movies Are My Church.

Beau is being such a selfish little shit and I don't know what to do about it. He just seems to care less and less about anyone else's feelings. I am making him go with us to see Chicago tonight because I thought it would be fun for all of us to be together and see it. Plus I don't have anyone to watch him and I don't want to leave him home alone. For all the thousands of nights I've stayed home with him, I think it's only fair that he go out with me once in a while.

I rarely insist that he do anything, well, other than go to school, do his homework, shower, and sleep. I do sooooo much for him. Everyone says I spoil him, and when I want him to just kind of go with the flow and do something that he isn't thrilled about, he gives me so much grief.

God, when I was little I had to do everything my parents wanted me to do, everything. This included church every Sunday, which I hated, but later, when I was much older, I learned that in many ways I had been comforted by going. There was something about the ritual of it, the gathering together of people, the praying, the kindness, the good intentions, the faith and grace of it, that has stayed with me. Oddly, in reaching for comparisons, I've come up with church as the thing my parents made me do, and here I am talking about making Beau go see a movie. Hunh. Maybe movies are my church.

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