Jacqui (jacqui) wrote,

The Osbournes, P. Diddy's Dick, Being Sick Again, Spiders and Warding Off the antiChrist

I get so sad when the Osbournes end. I love this show so much. I swear it's the highlight of my week. I can't bear that people are saying it's tanking in the ratings. That just can't be true.

Oh wait a repeat, haven't I seen this? Maybe I just missed the beginning. Oh joy, or heaven, I get to spend some more time with my favorite people. Oh I did see this, I just missed the beginning, I think this is the one where Kelly freaks out.

Here's Ozzy talking to the cat and dogs,

"Now fuck off guy, Gus, Jim, Bill, Ted, whatever your name is. You're going to be a dead guy if you touch, even go near my chicken... Now dogs look at me. Fuck off. Don't even think about it. Now fuck off."

I guess some of the reasons I relate so much to them is that they live similarly to how we live, but on a grander scale. I just built and decorated our home and shopped in all of the same stores they did. Sharon has the same taste in furnishing, we have some of the same furniture and lamps, well, minus all of the Gothy elements, (wait, no, God that's so not true, I have chalkware saint statues, and religious iconography as well, crosses, devotionals, hunh), they've got billions of pets like we do, (they've got more money, we've got more pets, waaaaaa.) The kids went to the same school Beau is going to. He's got a lot of the same toys and things that Jack does, and a similar spoiled-lazy-boy-slacker but with a decent heart outlook, and they have similar body types. Their phone system is even the same as ours. It has the exact same ring and intercom beep that we have. When it rings on the TV I always look at our phone to see if it's ringing. Of course we swear like crazy. It just makes me smile when I think how Scott asked me if I liked this show because I felt like our lives were sort of similar in some way, and I got upset because I thought they were too weird, and now I think they seem pretty normal. Please, please, please, won't someone contact Sharon and tell her I would like her to be my Mom?

"I'll bet he's got a nice willy. I'll bet it's smooth. I bet it's oiled..."

What's this? My lighter on the floor? Hmmmm... apparently certain children have been playing with this.

I miss Scott. I've banned him until I'm sure it's safe and less germy. I can't stand being responsible for anyone getting sick. I take it so personally when I get ill. I try to track the germs to their origin, figure out how gave what to whom. Finding someone to blame makes me feel better somehow.

Oh God here comes an attack of fever/coughing/nausea. I can do just so much before I have to go rest again, God, blah, so sick of this. What the hell is wrong with me? Well, to be fair everyone around me has had it twice as well, so it really isn't just me, it's just that it feels that way because it takes me longer to recover and my lovely Mother makes me feel so guilty for being sick. It's always my fault somehow. I don't poop regularly enough or some crazy thing.

Popping a nausea pill. Night night, my little Live Journal darlings.

PS: The "antichrist" is supposed to be on Coast to Coast tonight. I'm actually afraid to listen to the show because I think sound carries energy vibrations that can enter your body and affect you. If he really is an evil man, it might be a bad plan to listen to him.

I'm warding him away with these pictures.

PPS: Oh and do you remember the giant spider that jumped on me when we were in the desert last year? Well someone very like it had babies and one of them was scrunching up on the ceiling in the hall hiding, and I was too afraid to try to get her down and take her outside so I just kept watch over her and hoped no one would notice her. Of course my Mother, who never notices anything important, spotted her after two days and wanted Rosa to kill it so I had to beat her to it and scoop her up with a cup and take her outside. I won't kill things. It's just a cute little spider that wants to grow huge and jump on my shoulder and scare me.

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