Jacqui (jacqui) wrote,

Weird Sexual Future Dreams and Confused Sexual Identity

Wow, last night's dreams were pretty wild and wooly. I think I'll put them behind my live journal cut tag for the adventurous.

I am at my Mom's house with Beau. My Mother is away at our vacation house in the desert. I have been looking for vibrators but none of them seem to work and neither do the telephones. I am afraid and sense danger. Burglars break in to our house commando style. and I am frightened trying to figure out how to save Beau and escape. The leaders of this raid turn out to be Dennis Quaid and Gillian Anderson. Of the two she is the meaner. IN order to spare Beau and buy tie I decide to cooperate completely. I am ashamed of this. I feel like a little girl wimp. I tell them where we Mother keeps anything of value, where she might have some cash, where her jewelry is, where there is sterling silver.

At some point I become aware of their ultimate plans for us. They are going to lock me in some kind of walk in freezer while Beau is going to be locked in a room of the house. I will have four hours of air and have to hope that someone finds me. The temperature will be forty degrees at best. Dennis takes pity on me and is gathering blankets and sleeping bags. He mumbles something about my being able to cover the air vents with these to hold off the cold a bit.

We are in my parent's den. I am horny and attracted to him. I start to touch certain parts of his body and he is responding. I am hoping that if I am affectionate and we become sexual that maybe he will spare Beau and maybe me. Gillian comes in and I am worried that she will be jealous, and maybe she is, but she is also intrigued so I begin to engage with her. I tell her that I think she was wonderful in House of Mirth and this seems to make her happy and turn her on a bit.
I'm feeling a bit shy about this so I'll spare you the details but it gets really real here, in intensely graphic ways that I have never experienced in real life, so it sort of surprises me that my dream me is so experienced, must be all that porn I've seen.

Beau comes in the room so the three of us decide to go to another part of the house where we can have some privacy and continue our tryst. A black man joins us and I think maybe another woman. We go to the back of the house and are looking for bedrooms.

This isn't my parents house any longer. It's some kind of strange future city home, where people live together in bigger groups and in verrrrry cramped close spaces, but the sense of danger remains. The other people who were part of this raid on our home still intend to carry out their mission and they will be angry with Dennis and Gillian if they discover that they are messing around with me.

We go into this small area that is comprised of about three rooms and lock the door. Everything seems to be under construction but we manage to find a bedroom with two twin mattresses on the floor. I really want to have sex but things keep getting in the way.

There is a shift, a transition to another part of the dream. We are in the same place but in some future time where there are two castes of people -- the normal, naturally born people, and those of us who have been genetically engineered or modified in some ways. The more human people are on the top and those of us who have some machine in us are on the bottom. We think and feel the same except for their cruel prejudice towards us and the fact that they are ill and dying. They are mutating but want to stay pure and in charge, something like that. They are free to live their lives as they please while we are forced to live within certain controlled walled off sections of this future city/world. We are the worker class and have so few rights that they can shoot or have us destroyed at a whim.

There is a woman down the hall who needs my help. She is delivering her baby and I am needed to help her because I have experience with birthing. We go into this very small cubicle and I am concerned for her privacy. I help her have her child and this somehow ingratiates me to her and to her Mother and her doting Father. All the while I am helping her I am praying this will somehow buy me my freedom. After I deliver her baby son, I go away to take a break while her parents celebrate and invite people to come and see their grandson. Natural human childbirth seems to be rare and unusual in this place.

When I come back to check on her she is deformed. She has two heads and I am alarmed but her Mother tells me not to worry, that this was an expected result, a risk she took in having a child, and that everything will be all right shortly. She has had another child while I was away. The first child who was a boy has now become a girl and the parents are very upset that I remember this. The Mother is somehow transgender and they are concerned that this has been passed on to the child. The baby turns out to be a genius and begins to speak and can answer trivia questions that the Grandfather and I are asking her.

I am now attracted to the Grandfather and we want to sneak off to have sex. We are looking for a free cubicle but people have claimed all of them. We decide to sneak in to one that has been claimed but the people aren't here at the moment. Somehow I wind up getting Beau and hiding in a truck that is passing through the guard gates and leaving the city. Then I am operating a flying car ship of some kind and trying to pick through murdered members of my caste who are lying all over the streets, to find any who might be living. I find a woman who when I scan her turns out to have a faint heart beat. I beam her aboard somehow in particles and restart her heart.

Okay, well, in my real mundane life I have to go have my stress echocardiogram and I am a little scared that they will force me to run a mile on a treadmill and I will collapse or something pleasant like that. I haven't been able to eat anything or take my morning pills and vitamins. I am soooooo hungry. I think I'll reward myself by running away to a movie afterwards, bleee. Wish me luck.

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