Jacqui (jacqui) wrote,
Jacqui
jacqui



I am soooooooo weary. I should go lay down, but being here and catching up on my e-mail, and browsing LJ and image auctions, is so tempting.

I think my heart is okay. The doctor and the technician said it looked all right but they wanted to be able to go over it again in detail. It was hard having to be naked in front of people I don't know, or people who are not naked as well. I had to go as fast as I could for as long as I could on a treadmill, with leads attached to patches all over my chest, and then run over to a table, lay down and lift my boobs up so they could put the ultrasound device on me. My heart looked so strange and alien on this little screen and then I got to hear it swooshing around inside me.

While waiting in the waiting room I got to reaffirm my belief that medical procedures and/or illness really brings out the best and worst in people. There were several elderly couples seated near me and they were so different from each other. One man and his wife were charming, loving, kind, and the other were angry, bitter, and difficult. I felt sorry for the angry ones. I imagined the wife was in pain or uncomfortable, she was so mean to her husband. I went over and loved up all over the friendly ones.

My shrink wants me to lower my dose of Effexor (antidepressants) so I won't have to take as much after my surgery, when I won't be able to eat. It makes me super nauseous when I don't take food with it. It's just so hard to taper off of this. I did it once before, but man, my brain kind of squeezes. It's like a hungry stomach but in my head.

My puss is craving Scott, just craving him.
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