Jacqui (jacqui) wrote,

Xanax Helicopters and War

Okay so will you guys remind me that no matter how flipped out, scared, or emotional I may get, taking Xanax is just not the answer? I need to be present, not completely zonked out on meds. Blech. I feel so hung over and out of it. Well, maybe this isn't so bad, because I have to busy myself with trying to raise my consciousness to the surface here, rather than breaking up over the television coverage.

I just feel so overwhelmed with things to take care of before my surgery, and every little stupid thing that can go wrong has gone wrong. The will that I drew up ages ago has conveniently disappeared so I have to quickly cobble together a new one, that's always a lot of fun, and my damned CD drive isn't working so I can't install the Willmaker program I bought. I have hundreds of annoying little ebayish e-mails that I have to go through to make sure all of my puny little auctions have been paid and handled before I won't be well enough to handle them for a while, but the huge payment that was supposed to be wired to my credit card, the one that was going to zero out my balance and free up lots of room to pay bills, didn't happen because the Denver office of Charles Schwab has been snowed in for three days so no one's business got done. Isn't that lovely? Then our computers, Beau's and mine, that I spent two hundred and fifty dollars on yesterday, so that our router would be upgraded and we wouldn't keep getting booted off the net when we have DSL damn it, aren't working. And the phone isn't working.

At least the many helicopters that hovered over our house yesterday for FIFTEEN HOURS are finally gone. So I can occasionally let the problems of the world shift just slightly out of my focus. Well, as long as I turn the darned TV and the radio off and don't look at the paper or talk to anyone. Fat chance of that.

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