She's got big balls.
God, I'm just so happy. I was just telling Scott this, and I was wondering, is it the meds, or just the incredible relief that I am alive -- that I made it through this surgery and I'm on the other side of it? Or is this some kind of huge re birthing process for me, or am I just manic? I don't know, I just feel so tremendously hopeful, and I have all of this energy. I've been inspired and happy all day. I even started working on a stand up monologue and finally returned some calls and laughed my head off. I want to jump up and scream, "I'm alive, I'm alive, I've been given another chance! I love living! I'm so happy to be here, yeay, yeay, yeay!!!!!!!!"
Maybe if I keep away from war coverage, and stories about this new virus that is killing people, I can avoid my familiar snug little cat bed of depression.
I'm definitely being stupid in sleep depriving myself so much, but other than that, things feel pretty terrific. We'll see if this holds.
Developing a new sharp little pain in the middle of my belly where I don't have any incisions, I wonder what this one is all about.
My naked rat Pinky has just learned that when I hold a cup up to the door of his cage it means that I am sharing something liquid with him so he doesn't try to grab the cup and run with it anymore.
Oh and we are going to be having kittens, shhhh, don't tell anyone who will hate me for this. I didn't fix Kaiiki in time and he ran around and had sex with the girls who I hadn't fixed yet because I had neutered all the boys. When you have as many cats as we have and you're such a worrywart you'll only go to the best vet who charges a minimum of $200.00 for each surgery, it's easy to get a little behind. Now I have three little black girls with bellies. I can't believe I've done this to us again. I mean it is always such an incredible joy but it is just so damned irresponsible and unkind of me considering the many animals who are being murdered at the shelters.
If God (Goddess/Mother Earth/The Great Creator/Whoever) somehow managed to pass a no kill law for the shelters in our state I would get on my knees and kiss the ground and go to mass every day for a month. I went to mass once this year, with my Mother after her cancer surgery went so well. Maybe that isn't a great enough sacrifice. How about walking to church on my knees like a pilgrim? That would be so hard.
PS: Have you ever heard the song Big Balls by ACDC? Scott has been telling me about it for years now because I always tell him that he has... well, I'll just let you guess at that. Anyway he finally found a copy of it and sent it to me so I could hear it on my Real Player and it's so funny, I'm dying to sing it with him when he performs. I think it would be a blast for a big band to cover. Everyone gets to shout. "I've got big balls, he's got big balls, but he's got the biggest balls of all." It's so funny.
PPS: I just bought Beau a neon sign of a green gecko for his room because he loves them so much. I'm going to have this be his big Easter present. I always make a little Easter Bunny line of eggs, jellybeans and surprises that he has to follow along until he gets to the big surprise. I think he's really going to like it. He'll like that it's a gecko and he'll think the neon is cool to have in his room. I'm a nice mom, yeah, I am.
You know compared to what some of his friend's and their parents are going through I'm thinking I haven't done too bad of a job after all. I just spoke to his little girlfriend Juliet's Dad (they've been calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend since first grade, it's so sweet,) and he said that she just got her period and that things have been hell for him. Her Mom died of cancer two years ago so he is pretty much raising Juliet by himself and the hormonal changes she is going through are hard for him to handle. Anyway the other day he said he had made her breakfast and she came downstairs and said, "I hate my life. School sucks. And I hate you!" Ouch, if I had told either one of my parents that I hated them it would have been well, it would have been bad.
Beau's friend Steven's Mom called tonight just to kind of complain about life in general and one of the things she was upset about was that Steven called her a fucking bitch and an asshole. I can't believe these guys. It just blows me away. I am sssoooooooo permissive and liberal but the only reason Beau doesn't say stuff like this to me is because he knows I'd kill him. I mean there is no way I'm going to devote my life to raising a child who tells me he hates me, just now way. Don't you think this kind of stuff lies in the boundaries the parents set?
Goodnight Everyone -- XOXOXOXO