Jacqui (jacqui) wrote,

My Beautiful Cat Sunny Just Died

I wrote this post a little while ago when I was going to post it and ask you to pray for him but then the vet called and said he's even worse and all three of the vets think we should put him to sleep so we have. I'm just so fucking sad. And I'm sick of worrying about what people will think of me if I use the word Fuck too much. Fuck it, it's so fucking unfair. I loved him so much and as usual another cat I got who I somehow thought would replace the all time love of my life cat IMrau has died. Typical. I don't have any luck with white cats with blue eyes and orange ears. God just doesn't want me to have them anymore. We still have Kaiiki but he's grouchy and macho and I'm afraid to love him for fear I'll lose him too.

Here's what I wrote earlier. Why is my life such a goddamned roller coaster?

I think my beautiful big fluffy white cat Sunny is dying. We took him in to the hospital three days ago because he wasn't eating and looked super depressed. They said he had hepatic lipidosis, which basically means a very fatty liver. I thought, hey we both have the same thing. But then they found what looked like they could be cancer cells and every day it's been bad news and more downhill sliding. Just today they told me they wanted to do exploratory surgery to look at his liver and I said okay. But when they called me back they said he has fluid filling his lungs now and it looks like it might be FIP.

FIP is a death sentence for cats and it is highly contagious. About a year ago one of our black teenager cats came down with it and died. Well, we think that's what he had. It's extremely hard to diagnose and vets just kind of have to rely on their instincts and a variety of symptoms. When this happened last year I went through such grieving and self recrimination. I thought of our house as a plague house. I thought everyone was going to get it and die, it's that contagious. We bleached and disinfected everything and not a single cat came down with it. So in the end I thought it was some fluke.

Now Sunny is laying on his side with his mouth open and gasping for breath and the vet says she is going to tap (draw fluid) from his lungs one more time, to be certain we should put him to sleep. I am so sad. Sunny is so special and beautiful. Everyone loves him.

I rescued him from our local animal murdering "shelter" about four or five months ago and he has been depressed and sad since the day I first saw him. I don't know what kind of life he had but they hadn't bothered to fix him, he had ringworm, which he gave to all of us, and he never wanted to be touched around his lower back and tail.

Irma is on her way up the path with her oldest daughter Rosa who got beat up at the "good" school I got her enrolled in, for not wanting to join a girl gang where one of the rules is that they all have to have sex with this one boy. These are thirteen and fourteen year old girls. The school will predictably do nothing. Irma says she is going to go to school early tomorrow and wait for them to get dropped off and then she is going to "pull them by their hairs." I want to help her.

Now Rosa says it wasn't that group of girls who attacked her but another group of girls. They had PE today in a smaller room or gym than normal and when the bell rang everyone was jostling to get out of the doors. Someone pushed Rosa into the girl in front of her who turned around got pissed and grabbed Rosa really hard by the arm and started to hit her. Rosa pulled away and called her "stupida". Then after school this girl and two of her friends were waiting to jump Rosa who normally sits with this nice teacher. The teacher wasn't there and it was kind of dark in this passageway so the girls started calling her names, chased her, pulled off her backpack, tackled her, beat on her and ran away. No one knows the names of the girls until Rosa can identify them by their faces tomorrow, but I swear if that school doesn't do something about this, I am going to be there with my legal bat.

Beau's friend Angie, I think she's probably thirteen or fourteen, just called on the phone hysterical because she can't figure out how she is going to get from the movies at the mall to her French teacher's house by 4:30.She's walking and she thinks she's lost. I offered to pick her up but she's in Newport Beach which is an hour and a half away from us and I already got in trouble for driving without having my doctor's permission.

Angie said she didn't know where she was so I offered to look up the address where she was on Mapquest or Mapblast, and then guide her by phone to her destination but all she really wanted was to cry to Beau. I so understand this.

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