Jacqui (jacqui) wrote,
Jacqui
jacqui

"Scientists are asking the NIH for $100 million to expand and modernize the eight research centers and to pay for new background research on other monkey species for scientific use."

Oh God I'm so pissed off at AOL right now! I woke up like I usually do, filled with memories of my last, last night's dream, and feeling hopeful as always. I always, always, always feel hopeful in the mornings. I'm so grateful for this bit of luck or grace that allows me to feel this way when I wake up. Since I've been remembering my dreams so vividly lately I thought I'd run right in here and type it up for you, well, for me really, but also to share with you. But when I got here one of the first things that pops up on my screen is a report from Reuters, or AP, or somewhere that AOL has decided to blast across it's news headlines about there being a shortage of Macaque monkeys for animal research.

Now, if you don't know this about me already, I'll say it again for some of my newer friends, who are welcome to flee in droves if they disagree, but I was, (and still remain in my heart), a hard-core animal rights activist for many years. Lets just say that I strongly believe in breaking into facilities that graft tumors onto beagles and allow them to deliver puppies and live in their own feces, or places where little macaque monkeys are blindfolded with lead wires attached to their heads that go nowhere but look spiffy, so that so called doctors can parade suits with money around and show them the fabulous "research" that they will need millions more for, or baboons who are having their heads crushed while students stand around, making jokes and laughing, or animals who are having their testicles pinched with pliers to test their levels of pain tolerance, or rabbits who are held in stereotaxic devices while some callous bastard prays caustic chemical solvents in their eyes so they can write a warning label on their product telling us not to do the same, or cats whose skulls have been removed and are kept alive in cages, (I saw this UCLA experiment myself when I was still in high school), or any of the many, many, more, evil fucking experiments that go on day after day, minute after excruciating suffering minute. I believe that people should break into these places, liberate these animals, and then tear these places to fucking shreds. And every single thing I've just written here is true, documented and photographed by people who have risked their freedom to do so, and I am a fucking coward for having backed off and sat here on my ass for the last decade or so. I've become a selfish, blind, lazy, comfort-seeking, complacent fool. There, I've said it, does that tell you where I stand on this?

I do not advocate harming anyone. I do not belive in taking any life, any at all, animal, human, or pre-human, and this gets me in trouble with people whose political views I am so closely alligned with, but who on this one issue I am so diametrically opposed.

While I know that there are tons of people out there, myself included, who have benefited tremendously from advances in medicine and science, I do not believe that these advances are attributable to the absolute evil and fraud of the multibillion dollar animal research industry. I could go on and on with facts, statistics, stories, books I've read, doctors, scientists, former animal researchers, and various people I've interviewed, when I had an award winning cable television show, but I've become defeated and reclusive in my stance on this and I just really and truly do not want my own personal journal to be a place for debate on something I feel so strongly about.

I'm just taking this moment to express my anger and outrage at the state of the "Animal Right's Movement" that has seemed to be on a losing downward spiral for the last dozen or so years. What have we accomplished with our graphic photos that were meant to shock, but that now have become promotional tools for the bad guys? Otherwise why would a numbed out public allow articles like the one on AOL today, capped with a picture of a tiny little monkey, either long dead or about to be fucking vivisected, be allowed to go by unchallenged? I mean where is the opposing point of view. Even the local television news, as full of bias and crap as it is, will always try to present the other side's POV. I am so enraged at the evil, the barbarism, the cruelty, and the outright fraud that is perpetrated against these tiny innocent beings, and against you and me that I want to fucking hit someone right now! But I won't because I was raised in the era of Billy Jack and I am basicaly a pacifist.

Instead I think I'll just do the usual e-mail, etter writing, and phone calling, and move back towards getting more involved. I'm telling you the process of shedding this weight, of uncovering what I've covered up for so many years, is a rollicking wild ride. Who knew how many pounds of fat I had to add to my body to mute the empathic pain I felt for the countless animals who suffer every second in hidden labs all across this country, all across this world?

I will be sorry to see those of you who choose to leave my friends list at this point go, but being able to speak my truth means everything to me now. Truth really does set you free.

And BTW here is a terrific article called Children Choose Hot Dogs
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