You do not think this is the ugliest puppy you have ever seen. You love Lulu, in fact you want to marry her.
You will ignore the messy looking Jacqui with her oily grow, grow, please grow, thinning hair products on, and focus on the beauty of Miss Lulu who you wish was your very own googley eyed puppy.
And yes that is a rat, a very, big, fat rat, and my pal Irma is just about to kiss him.
Oh God! I just lost an enormous post I spent hours writing to all of you, big, weary, worn out mother sighs. I basically told you about Beau and how badly he's been behaving, but how much of it I feel is my fault, with some of it being hormonal (because Lord knows I was a complete shit to my Mother at that age), and his just being thirteen. He's particularly rude to me when he has his friend Steven over or hasn't had enough sleep. But it was so funny and I worked so hard on it, lots of mother and son dialogue exchanges that I just don't have the energy or focus to recreate, so I'm pouting quite a lot here as I decide not to try to redo the whole thing. Plus I'm exhausted.
I know you must be dying to hear about The Sharon Osbourne Show. We went yesterday and stayed for two tapings, the one and six o'clock shows, which were only her third and fourth shows, respectively. It's terrific and I wish her every success in the world. In fact I'm going to go hopping around the net to plaster positive things about it everywhere I can.
She was lovely, charming, delicate, and balls out funny in that wonderful way of hers, where she can get away with looking like the finest lady and saying, "Oh shit I fucked it," at the same time, and have the audience roar with approval. It really was wonderful to see her looking so well, although a bit thin and fragile, and I'm thrilled we were able to go. I'm writing up a detailed post with all of the gossip for you, because they wouldn't allow pictures, although we did have the picture flip phones and I was sorely tempted to snag a few shots just to share with you, but nope, not gonna do that to my Momma-Mentor Miss Sharon.
Ooooh I have to go, I'm so pissed that I did something weird with this long long funny post, darn it. Be back later.