Jacqui (jacqui) wrote,

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I dreamt that I was back with my ex, in the horrible say just before we broke up. We are on our way to a party. I'm so confused and unhappy. I can't believe I'm living like this again. I don't want to be torn and hurting. We are going to a party for his friends. I don't want to go. He wants me to get my hair done at this incredibly expensive groovy salon and says he will pay for it, so I agree to go. He is going to get his hair done too.

We go to the salon. I can't believe I'm with him. I am in so much pain. I don't want to cut or color my hair, I just want to go home. I am just dying to talk about it to someone, anyone. Some stylists start talking to me about color and cut. We go in another room. They tell me that they can heal my hair from having been overprocessed and then they'll be able to dye it again. I don't want to dye it but I'm supposed to go along with all of this for some reason. Everyone else is deciding things for me. I don't seem to have any say in the choice of cut or color. They have these little tiny vials of essential oils and natural things. One of them starts rubbing it in and my hair starts to feel smoother. Another one asks me about acting and how I got started and what should she do so I give her my number and a few pointers. I'm thinking about how expensive this is and how is Robby going to afford a seven hundred dollar hair bill.

I am laying down almost in another stylists lap, she is shaping and cutting my hair. Someone else comes up and asks her what's taking so long. She seems worried she will get in trouble when she was juts being nurturing and kind and taking her time. I go to the final stylists chair to have my hair blow dried and there is a note from Robby taped to her station. He has left me here and gone on to the party. I am so hurt and angry. I don't really understand the note, it's just a whole bunch of instructions about what to do and where to go. How am I going to pay the bill? Why has he done this to me? I feel bereft.

There is an outfit he picked out for me to wear too. I go into the dressing room and try it on. It's a kind of bikini. The top is really neat, it has two parts to it and is really cool and see thru in some pretty daring places. I love it but it doesn't fit me and keeps slipping off and my right nipple keeps poking through. I'm so depressed and sad about all of this. I don't want to go to this party but if I don't go how ill I find the money.

I'm telling everyone about what kind of women he cheats on me with. I'm pointing out this whorehouse on a bay somewhere. My ex is some kind of pimp for this place. There are lots of girls there with babies. It is surrounded by water. I wade by but the women and some of their body guards are suspicious and act menacing so I back off.

Later I find the party where Robby is supposed to be but he's nowhere to be found. Probably off screwing around. I hate these people. I feel like an idiot here because everyone knows the real Robby and are probably wondering why I'm here, maybe even feeling sorry for me, which is worse somehow. My friend Karen is with me, she is criticizing everyone really loudly. I'm embarrassed as we leave.

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