Jacqui (jacqui) wrote,

Why look, it's my dream slut self. We're just about to watch the Emmys. I've got Joan and Melissa on in the background. I love the red carpet stuff, just can't help myself. Ha! Joan just asked an actor if he was planning on buying his wife the gorgeous diamond necklace she was wearing, and he said, "Ixnay on the ecklessnay," I don't know, but that struck me as being pretty damned funny.

I have the softest, cutest, sweetest and naughtiest black kitten-cat in here with me right now. I'm trying to keep him away from my keyboard and the rats cages. He is eminently squishable.

Still got to take a bath though. I took Beau out to do a few errands.

Oh I wanted to tell you about this one super nasty saleswoman I had to deal with today. We were in the mall in Santa Monica which is somewhat hellish to begin with. I lose all sense of time in places like that which is probably part of the whole stay, stay, staaaaaay and shop forever plan. Anyway we went to Hot Topic and I braved the really loud horrible thrash metal music and helped Beau find some gothy shorts in his size, and more patches and more chains, then he waited while I went into this stupid little accessories store.

I found a pretty paper frame that had this gorgeous Asian print on it, and even though the one saleswoman was giving off this nasty vibe, I decided to buy it. I'm a quick study, quick read, of people, and I could just tell she was going to be monstery. First of all she had this terribly crap attitude as if she was doing me this enormous favor by ringing up my stupid frame, then she charged me triple the cost, and I was so tired I just went ahead and signed it without even noticing. Then she caught the mistake, and didn't apologize, but instead acted irritated with me.

When I kindly asked her what I could do to help she said, "Just stand there and be patient," in the rudest way. I should have said, "No problem as long as you'll take a course in CUSTOMER SERVICE!" But instead I just acted nice and tried to people please the monster girl until she finally finished reading her little code book and voided the old sale and asked me for my credit card and license again. When I gave her my card and license I gave her my old one by mistake. I keep it in my wallet to kind of have a quick before and after weight loss surgery illustration thing on hand. She took one look at the picture and said so snidely, "This person isn't even you!" I said, "Oh I'm sorry I gave you my old license, I had weight loss surgery. I'll just get the one I gave you before."

When I handed her my new license she refused to give me my old one back and stood there comparing the two of them with the biggest frown on her ugly face and said, "No, this person isn't you! These aren't even the same people!" So I said again, "Yes, that is me. I had weight loss surgery and I've lost a lot of weight, that's why it looks different," and she said "Nope, not the same person," and gave me this suspicious look. So I just got really mad and said, "Look, I've told you this already a few times now. That is me, it's my old license and I would like you to ring up the sale again so that I can leave please." She scrutinized me suspiciously again and said, "All right but that isn't you," and then snapped my license back down on the glass counter. God was I pissed. I've had people look at my license and say it didn't look like me in a way that was meant to be a compliment but never like this. It was kind of disturbing.

OMG Esther just brought me two tablespoons of guacamole, I feel like the luckiest girl in the world! Gotta go bathe.

These are for you honey, you'll get the joke.

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