Jacqui (jacqui) wrote,

Little Blackie Died, Things Are Better With Beau, Lilo and Stitch, Casa de los Babys

Aren't these pretty? They're by Michelle Roy and they're for your hair. I'm so jealous because I wish I'd thought of these and were the one making forty dollars a flower. All you have to do is glue on the clip, the rhinestones, and do the marketing. The taste part of it is innate. Sigh. Someday I'm going to find a way to make money doing something creative that I love.

Hi Everyone,

I'm feeling sad today. My sweet little black kitten who we just named Blackie because they needed us to give him a name at the hospital so they could give him a chart, died at four in the morning. I was up all night, as usual, between my Interstitial Cystitis that keeps me peeing every hour or so, caring for Blackie's (is that a racist name, I had a bear named Whitey when I was a little girl, we just had to come up with something immediately and that's what popped up, his blackness was what was so beautiful about him, that and his big ears, big sad sigh), little tabby colored brother, (who is the only one of the five to have survived), and the cramping from the new IUD and the regular kitty shenanigans and goings on. The phone rang at about five and I just knew it was the emergency vet hospital calling. I didn't even want to pick up the phone but I did. Thank God for Effexor, or maybe not. Irma is a wreck. Awww, she just brought Buggie, (Blackie's older sister), in to cheer me up.

Just yesterday afternoon Esther suggested that I post a prayer request here for Blackie and I am so sorry that I didn't. Every single time that I've done this and we're talking from things as small as a cat cold to my mother's cancer, your prayers, meditations, positive thoughts, well wishes, and candle lighting, have cured'/..;. <---- cat on keyboard, whatever it was we were asking for your help with. I just wish I had done it, but then again maybe it wasn't meant to be. God bless our little tiny black cat man, he was so dear and so beautiful. We all loved him so much.

This is one of the only other pictures I have of him. I didn't post it with the others -- the ones I posted the other day -- because I didn't think it was good enough. The lighting was weird and it was out of focus and I'd just washed him after feeding him, but it's all we have left.

Beau and I have been working through his little dramas and oddly enough I have to say that it's been kind of a joy. I love him so much and the flip side of his being immature and thoughtless sometimes, is that he is also very loving, generous, kind, smart, creative, and fun to be with. He came in yesterday afternoon when I was working away here at the computer, trying to get caught up on my eBay stuff, (which I can finally say I just about am), and asked me if we could set a date to watch Lilo and Stitch on DVD at seven. Isn't that the cutest thing for a thirteen year old boy to want to do -- watch Lilo and Stitch with his Mom? How could I say no? So I said yes even though I always run myself ragged and never want to make any plans.

Uh oh Buggie is making a feline, (as opposed to beeline), for the rats, must intervene... Anyway Beau made sure he got his bath and completed his homework and then at seven o'clock came and got me to watch the movie. This is a wee bit out of character for him and it really cheered me up. He's seen Lilo and Stitch about three or four times in English and once in Spanish. I saw it with him in Hawaii when it first came out and loved it so much that we bought the CD and memorized most of the music. I just love the story and the art and the fact that it's set in Hawaii and the women don't look like stick insects and there is surfing, and Stitch is an orphan like me, and he looks like our new dog Lulu. So it was such a nice surprise to be able to see it again with Beau and my kitties and knit my fuzzy green hat at the same time.

Then afterwards I watched the Bachelor and Beau went to bed without a fuss. Amazing. But then the phone rang at four and I got the bad news. I guess it was meant to be. I think dying is probably a relief and a joy for the soul that leaves the body, it's just sad for the people who are left behind. I really thought this little guy with the great big ears was going to make it and become a permanent part of our extended animal family. Oh well.

I'm going to take Irma and Esther to see John Sayles Casa de los Babys today. That should take our minds off things for a moment or two. But given my relationship with adoption maybe it'll just make me sadder, who knows, I just love John Sayles, the actors in the film, and it'll be good to give the gals a break. Then later Scott is going to come over.

I listened to his new versions of two of my favorite songs of his and I don't think they are better than the old version, well one of them isn't. It seems like some kind of seventies rock remix thing and I can't not tell him how I feel and it's made him sad. What do I know? Maybe these will help him find another producer or some support. Maybe mainstreaming his music through someone else's recycled rock style will help him, I don't think so, but again what the hell do I know about any of this. I just think he is such a fucking genius, I swear to you, I am the pickiest girl when it comes to music and my loving him doesn't get in the way of my having a real ear for music, and no one has been able to capture what I hear when it's just Scott alone with a guitar and a mic. Although when he had his band, once when we heard them play at some club in Venice, they absolutely rocked.

Okay back to the cyber mines. I am ever slowly inching forward to listing more items for sale and collaborating with some pals on a website. Never mind our Ma and Pa Kettle backyard. I worked on it for about an hour and a half yesterday and that was all I could handle. Wouldn't it be great if it rained money?

Look here's someone who's hand painting roses on mother of pearl buttons and selling them on eBay for very little. I could do that but with prettier colors and roses, but will I? Plus unless the painting is super beautiful the buttons themselves are worth more left alone. Bleh. Can anyone relate?

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