Jacqui (jacqui) wrote,

Thank You, Mary Engelbreit Follow Up, HGTV Country Style

A Thank You Note To All Of My Live Journal Friends and Readers

You know it's funny, one of my better qualities is that despite the fact that I know I am unique and have a lot to offer people, I am always surprised and humbled by anyone's interest in me, or by anyone's desire to be my friend. I just rushed off that little note yesterday about how frustrated I was, (frustrated and exhausted), that after all of my work, I was unable to share this little photo album of Halloween imagery with all of you.

When I write about things that are happening in my life, but am too busy to come and post or share photos of them, (to say nothing of the fact that I want to give back so much more to all of you than I am able), I am keenly away of my absence here and I feel that I owe it to you to give back in whatever way I can. I never expect or take your comments for granted and I am always surprised when I get them.

You are all so kind but I can't help but feel like a mama chicken (or is that hen?) who isn't taking good enough care of her Live Journal chicks. I'm so incredibly grateful for everyone's unwarranted support here, I feel as if I can never ever repay all of you for everything you've given me -- I don't even think I could adequately put into words how much having all of you come and read my journal and being my community of pals means to me, and I know that I don't give enough back, so the least I figure I can do for all of the good and wonderful people who befriend me here is to share photos of the things I'm writing about so everyone can feel a little more included in my life.

In my ideal dream version of my life there are three more of me to get it all done and one of them has enough time to sit here at the computer for hours everyday, not browsing eBay auctions, answering phones or being distracted by anything, but just sitting here reading every one of my friends entries and pouring out love and support to all of you. I know that's impossible but I want to achieve at least some tiny little fraction of this. You know what I mean? An occasional friendly comment or response from me doesn't seem like too much to ask. But when you have more than a hundred really terrific, and I do mean terrific, LJ pals, it is so hard to do, which is why I'm always telling you guys to come on over and drag me by the scruff of my cyber neck to read or comment on posts that are important to you and that you don't want me to miss.

I don't know if it's my semi-recently diagnosed Attention Deficit Disorder, or my chaotic life, (which is probably a moot point as it's a 'Which came first, the chicken or the egg?' kind of thing anyway), that makes it so hard for me to create order or discipline enough so that I can carve out at least an hour a day to read and respond to my friend's journals, but whatever it is, it's so hard to do. I try so hard to click on my friend's list whenever I can so that I can at least read some of your entries but what are the odds that you will be the one who happened to post at that moment when I read about four or five pages worth?

I'm so very aware of how unfair this is, to be lucky enough to have people reading my journal, but to not be able to return the favor in the way that I would like to, (or feel that I should), which brings me back to the point of why it was important to me to create this photo album, and why I got up super early today, (when I have a crew of TV people coming in just four days to shoot our undecorated, cat-peed home -- that we are scurrying around to make beautiful in time for the shoot), in order to make another mini version of the first one; I owe this to you.

It seems like the least I can do for all of the support -- the love and the kindness that you have all sent my way -- and I really feel it, I do, even if you just read my journal and never comment, even if your name is just one of the many names that sit amidst the enormous pile of pals I have here and you never even read my journal. Your simply adding me to your friend's list here is enough and I consider it an honor and am more grateful than any of you will ever know!

Conversely I want you to know that I am always thinking of all of you and am here for you in my own limited way, I think of all of you as much more than distant disconnected computer world friends; I think of you as being here beside me in my heart, and a part of me is there beside all of you as you read this, or not, and as you go about your daily lives -- I am loving you no matter how absurd this may sound, I really, truly, madly, deeply do ; ) and that last bit was for anyone who may be as nuts about this movie as I am, sniff, sniff, and will get the reference.

Big loving hugs from your grateful friend,

PS: This is a little follow up letter that appeared in Mary Engelebreit's Home Companion and chances are I wouldn't have seen it if it weren't for my good, but also terribly neglected, friend and neighbor Aleida, who kindly pointed it out to me. I am so touched that someone saw the article and was so inspired that they copied me.

PPS: Even as I am creating this post I am talking on the phone with a new friend who needs help finding a doctor who will accept Medical for revisionary weight loss surgery and I'm trying to figure out how to visit another friend's sister who has to have a hysterectomy tomorrow morning. Yesterday I dragged myself to my storage unit in order to bring home a bunch of framed art to loan to my friend Susan whose home I convinced HGTV to come and shoot, at the same time they're coming to LA to shoot our house, and now I am on the phone with the best tutor, (and person), in the world, Louise Copeland, talking about Beau's new tutoring classes and everything else under the sun, and Irma has just arrived and I can hear my naughty runaway cat Harry meowing under my window which means that he squeezed past their feet when they came in the front door, and since I am one of the few people who can catch me I need to run downstairs and fetch him out of the garden before he gets hit by a car or eaten by a hungry coyote, and today we will have not one, not two, but SEVEN kids here because it's Veteran's day, and all four of Irma's little munchkins will be here, and Esther is here to help get things in order for the TV deal so both of her kids are here with her as well, and so it goes...

PPS: After much busynessness I am back and had to tell you that, inspired by my wonderful new Persian friends -- I have so much to tell you about this -- I'm sitting here eating pistachios and pomegranate seeds -- I don't swallow the pomegranate seeds, that would kill my stapled up stomach and intestines. Sadly their wonderful tea that they so kindly offer whenever I visit and that they gave me to make here at home, is upsetting my messed up bladder, (I have Interstitial Cystitis, will the health fun never end)? It's just so cool that I can still find food that is fun to eat, tastes good, and doesn't upset my delicate newly reconstructed insides, but that is a hell of a lot healthier than say Captain Crunch cereal, Entenman's, or Krispy Kreme (sp?) doughnuts. I guess I shouldn't have had to have bariatric surgery to learn this but I did. I finally have been forced to learn that I feel better when I eat food that is closer to having just come from the earth.

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